kathydwells
Darlene is my middle name, not my nickname
A cat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the gates and said, "You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking."
The cat thought for a minute and then said, "All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on."
God said, "Say no more." Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy pillow.
A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident and they all went to Heaven together. God met the mice at the gates with the same offer that He made to the cat.
The mice said, "Well, we have had to run all of our lives: from cats, dogs, and even people with brooms! If we could just have some little roller skates, we would not have to run again."
God answered, "It is done." All the mice had beautiful little roller skates.
About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found her sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked, "Is everything okay? How have you been doing? Are you happy?"
The cat replied, "Oh, it is WONDERFUL. I have never been so happy in my life. The pillow is so fluffy, and those little Meals on Wheels you have been sending over are delicious!"
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A woman takes her dog to a grooming salon to have hair balls removed from the dog's ears.
The fee was $100. When the woman complained about the charges, the salon owner suggested in the future she should try Nair Hair Remover.
A few months later the dog's ears were matted with hair, so the owner went to her pharmacist for Nair Hair Remover. The pharmacist said, "If you put this under your arms, do not use deoderant for 3 days". The woman said that she wasn't using it under the arms.
The pharmacist said, "If you put this on your legs, do not wear stockings for 3 days".
The woman said that it was not for her legs. The pharmacist asked, "Were do you intend to use it?". The woman replied, "On my schnauzer".
The pharmacist replied, "In that case, do not ride a bicycle for 3 days!'.
The cat thought for a minute and then said, "All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on."
God said, "Say no more." Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy pillow.
A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident and they all went to Heaven together. God met the mice at the gates with the same offer that He made to the cat.
The mice said, "Well, we have had to run all of our lives: from cats, dogs, and even people with brooms! If we could just have some little roller skates, we would not have to run again."
God answered, "It is done." All the mice had beautiful little roller skates.
About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found her sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked, "Is everything okay? How have you been doing? Are you happy?"
The cat replied, "Oh, it is WONDERFUL. I have never been so happy in my life. The pillow is so fluffy, and those little Meals on Wheels you have been sending over are delicious!"
____________________________________________
A woman takes her dog to a grooming salon to have hair balls removed from the dog's ears.
The fee was $100. When the woman complained about the charges, the salon owner suggested in the future she should try Nair Hair Remover.
A few months later the dog's ears were matted with hair, so the owner went to her pharmacist for Nair Hair Remover. The pharmacist said, "If you put this under your arms, do not use deoderant for 3 days". The woman said that she wasn't using it under the arms.
The pharmacist said, "If you put this on your legs, do not wear stockings for 3 days".
The woman said that it was not for her legs. The pharmacist asked, "Were do you intend to use it?". The woman replied, "On my schnauzer".
The pharmacist replied, "In that case, do not ride a bicycle for 3 days!'.
...good ones, Darlene!!!
