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The Good Napkins

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kathydwells

Darlene is my middle name, not my nickname
THE GOOD NAPKINS...ahhhhh...the joys of having girls.

My mother taught me to read when I was four years old (her first mistake). One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet doors was ajar. I read the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why she was keeping 'napkins' in the bathroom.

Didn't they belong in the kitchen? Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts, she told me that those were for "special occasions" (her second mistake).

Now fast forward a few months....It's Thanksgiving Day, and my folks are leaving to pick up my uncle and his wife for dinner. Mom had assignments for all of us while they were gone.

Mine was to set the table. When they returned, my uncle came in first and immediately burst into laughter. Next came his wife who gasped, then began giggling. Next came my father, who roared with laughter. Then came Mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each place setting on the table with a "special occasion" napkin at each plate, with the fork carefully arranged on top. I had even tucked the little tail in so they didn't hang off the edge!! My mother asked me why I used these and, of course, my response sent the other adults into further fits of laughter. "But, Mom, you SAID they were for special occasions!!!"

Isn't it easier to just tell the truth?????????

 
Oh my God! That is too much. With that story, I think you have the makings for the first one page book Best Seller.:clap_1::floor:
 
Smiling JOe said:
Oh my God! That is too much. With that story, I think you have the makings for the first one page book Best Seller.:clap_1::floor:

Well, I didn't actually do it. A friend sent this to me this morning. However, it does sound like something I would have done!
 
True story and a funny memory from elementry school: When I was in third grade a few of us girls were very curious to find out what a "feminine napkin" looked like. I imagined it being all pretty and lacy. I'm not sure why we thought they were hanging on a wall in the girls restroom though. One day someone brought in a dime and we bought one on recess. We opened it up and then were even more confused. But we also sensed we had done something bad so one of us hit it in our coat and went out on the playground. Somehow one of the boys got a hold of it and they were playing keep away with it. Of course the teacher got involved and we had to have a good talking to. I think our parents were called and then I had to have the very beginnings of "the talk".
 
I use them to in the bottoms of planters and pots, then add the dirt and plants. They help hold the moisture in. Disposable diapers work too!
 
jdarg...that's a GOOD use for the napkin!!!! Too FUNNy Darlene!!
 
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