from
http://www.5ives.com/ a hilarious list page
Five Halloween safety tips
October 23rd, 2006
1. For large groups of trick-or-treaters, always set at least one child ablaze, ensuring enough light that other children won?t trip over uneven pavement.
2. Only separate shards of X-Acto blades from rodent poison once you get home; doing so in the dark will lead to inevitable mixups and tummyaches for youngsters with allergies.
3. If a home has its porch light off ? but an expressionless face can be seen peering from a cellar window ? consider limiting your child?s unattended visit with the resident to no more than four hours.
4. If a close-fitting mask causes your child to fall down a well, use fishing line and a paper clip to retrieve her goodie bag. Nobody likes wet candy.
5. Although children dressed as SS-Sturmbannf?hrer Michael Lippert are not required to ?pretend execute? children dressed as Ernst R?hm, many parents find this bit of theatricality kindles the spirit that makes Halloween such a delight.