potatovixen
Beach Fanatic
Someone sent this to me, and I thought I'd share the love.
Rules to Proper Bar Etiquette
1. If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar. Preferably during happy hour.
2. Always toast before doing a shot.
3. Buying someone a drink is five times better than a handshake.
4. Buying a strange woman a drink is still cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb.
5. When the bartender is slammed, resist the powerful urge to order a slightly-dirty, very-dry, in-and-out, super-chilled half-and-half martini with a lemon twist. Limit orders to beer, straight shots and two-part cocktails.
6. Never, ever tell a bartender he made your drink too strong.
7. If he makes it too weak, order a double next time. He'll get the message.
8. If someone offers to buy you a drink, do not upgrade your liquor preference.
9. Our parents were better drinkers than we are.
10. If you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to drink in a bar. Go to the liquor store.
11. Never complain about the quality or brand of a free drink.
12. If you are the bar's sole customer, you are obliged to make small talk with the bartender until he stops acknowledging you. Then you're off the hook. The same goes for him.
13. Never tip with coins that have touched you. If your change is $1.50, you can tell the barmaid to keep the change, but once she has handed it to you, you cannot give it back. To a bartender or cocktail waitress, small change has no value.
14. If you have ever told a bartender, "Hey, it all spends the same, " then you are a cheap @s$.
15. It's okay to drink alone.
16. Men don't drink from straws.
17. If you do a shot, finish it. If you don't plan to finish it, don't accept it.
18. Your songs will come on as you're leaving the bar.
19. Never yell out jukebox selections to someone you don't know.
20. If you think you might be slurring a little, then you are slurring a lot. If you think you are slurring a lot, then you are not speaking English.
21. If you are broke and a friend is "sporting you", you must laugh at all his jokes and play wingman when he makes his move.
22. If you are trading rounds with a friend and he asks if you're ready for another, always say yes. Once you fall out of sync you will end up buying more drinks than him.
23. The people with the most money are rarely the best tippers.
24. Asking a bartender what beers are on tap when the handles are right in front of you is the equivalent of saying, "I'm an idiot."
25. Never ask a bartender "what's good tonight?" They do not fly in the scotch fresh from the coast every morning.
26. If there is a line for drinks, get your drink and step away from the bar.
27. If there is ever any confusion, the fuller beer is yours.
28. The patrons at your local bar are your extended family, your fathers and mothers, your brothers and sisters. Except you get to sleep with these sisters. And if you're really drunk, the mothers.
29. Never argue your tab at the end of the night. Remember, you're hammered and they're sober. It's akin to a precocious five-year-old arguing the super-string theory with a physicist. 99.9% of the time you're wrong and either way you're going to come off as a jack@s$.
Rules to Proper Bar Etiquette
1. If you owe someone money, always pay them back in a bar. Preferably during happy hour.
2. Always toast before doing a shot.
3. Buying someone a drink is five times better than a handshake.
4. Buying a strange woman a drink is still cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb.
5. When the bartender is slammed, resist the powerful urge to order a slightly-dirty, very-dry, in-and-out, super-chilled half-and-half martini with a lemon twist. Limit orders to beer, straight shots and two-part cocktails.
6. Never, ever tell a bartender he made your drink too strong.
7. If he makes it too weak, order a double next time. He'll get the message.
8. If someone offers to buy you a drink, do not upgrade your liquor preference.
9. Our parents were better drinkers than we are.
10. If you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to drink in a bar. Go to the liquor store.
11. Never complain about the quality or brand of a free drink.
12. If you are the bar's sole customer, you are obliged to make small talk with the bartender until he stops acknowledging you. Then you're off the hook. The same goes for him.
13. Never tip with coins that have touched you. If your change is $1.50, you can tell the barmaid to keep the change, but once she has handed it to you, you cannot give it back. To a bartender or cocktail waitress, small change has no value.
14. If you have ever told a bartender, "Hey, it all spends the same, " then you are a cheap @s$.
15. It's okay to drink alone.
16. Men don't drink from straws.
17. If you do a shot, finish it. If you don't plan to finish it, don't accept it.
18. Your songs will come on as you're leaving the bar.
19. Never yell out jukebox selections to someone you don't know.
20. If you think you might be slurring a little, then you are slurring a lot. If you think you are slurring a lot, then you are not speaking English.
21. If you are broke and a friend is "sporting you", you must laugh at all his jokes and play wingman when he makes his move.
22. If you are trading rounds with a friend and he asks if you're ready for another, always say yes. Once you fall out of sync you will end up buying more drinks than him.
23. The people with the most money are rarely the best tippers.
24. Asking a bartender what beers are on tap when the handles are right in front of you is the equivalent of saying, "I'm an idiot."
25. Never ask a bartender "what's good tonight?" They do not fly in the scotch fresh from the coast every morning.
26. If there is a line for drinks, get your drink and step away from the bar.
27. If there is ever any confusion, the fuller beer is yours.
28. The patrons at your local bar are your extended family, your fathers and mothers, your brothers and sisters. Except you get to sleep with these sisters. And if you're really drunk, the mothers.
29. Never argue your tab at the end of the night. Remember, you're hammered and they're sober. It's akin to a precocious five-year-old arguing the super-string theory with a physicist. 99.9% of the time you're wrong and either way you're going to come off as a jack@s$.
