40 percent of Americans are creationists

[MrMentalFitness]

I wouldn't discount the grandly mysterious if I were you, as I can personally attest to the fact that my delightfully religious mother had my brother and myself exorcised of demons more times than I care to remember (normally, weekly, with a group of well-holy-ghosted folk encircling us, whacking us about the head and shoulders), usually occurring after we two being forced to sit in church watching people rolling all over the floor for four to six hours and finding it difficult to remain still in one place for so long. The fact that we would belly-ache, get into wrestling matches, and insist on lunch was a clear indication of satanic influence.

Must've been real, because I don't feel particularly demon-possessed at this juncture.

 

[Kurt]

I wouldn't discount the grandly mysterious if I were you, as I can personally attest to the fact that my delightfully religious mother had my brother and myself exorcised of demons more times than I care to remember (normally, weekly, with a group of well-holy-ghosted folk encircling us, whacking us about the head and shoulders), usually occurring after we two being forced to sit in church watching people rolling all over the floor for four to six hours and finding it difficult to remain still in one place for so long. The fact that we would belly-ache, get into wrestling matches, and insist on lunch was a clear indication of satanic influence.

Must've been real, because I don't feel particularly demon-possessed at this juncture.