Dating question

[scooterbug44]

This topic seems to be coming up more and more lately and wanted to get some feedback - what is the protocol for dating when you are married, but separated/getting divorced?

I've always considered marriage to be like pregnancy - either you are or you aren't, no gray area.

But I know that is not how many feel - especially considering how long it can take to get divorced etc.

Where's Seagrovegirl?

 

[kitlit]

I've always considered marriage to be like pregnancy - either you are or you aren't, no gray area.

I agree completely but, you're right, many people feel differently. I imagine much of it would boil down to the parties involved, and what sort of marriage they had, as well as what kind of break up they're having.

To me, you're married until you're not, and it's a loyalty and respect kind of thing.

 

[Cork On the Ocean]

Yep, your right by me too! Separated means nothing. They could reconcile and I don't want to be in the middle of that or they could be lying and the significant other doesn't realize they are "separated" I don't want to be a part of that sadness and hurt. If they can't be single and alone for a few months, they aren't secure enough for me. Get it over before you get it on.

 

[scooterbug44]

Get it over before you get it on.

:rofl:

I've missed you! Are we doing St. Pat's parade again?

 

[Matt J]

Corks back!

I think a social meeting of the former spouse is in order if they are both supposed waiting for the official court documents.

 

[Douglas the Intrepid]

I think it counts on situation. After catching my ex-wife cheating on me, she moved out the same night to live with the guy. It took a long time for the divorce to finally go through legally, but I can tell you that I did not consider myself even remotely with her after that point and she deserved no courtesy from my end. Otherwise we have fortunately always agreed my daughters happiness is the most important thing and have always worked together when necessary for Imygyn's sake since then.

 

[Minnie]

It ain't over, till it's legal. So no dating others until legally divorced.

 

[Deli Love]

It ain't over till it's legal! I agree! As half of a couple who tried getting divorced only to end up back together and happier than ever, I don't think it's fair on anyone else to get them mixed up in your drama. If a divorce is taking a long time, it might be a good idea to just keep things simple on that level.

 

[LuciferSam]

I can't imagine anyone being concerned with the protocol unless they are considering messing around with a married person. If a couple decides it's over before all the legal entanglements get settled, then it's over. On the other hand, an outsider who has no real knowledge of the situation should be wary. A friend of a friend was shot to death by the jealous husband of some woman he "met" on an online dating site. Apparently there was no mutual agreement that it was over.

 

[scooterbug44]

I can't imagine anyone being concerned with the protocol unless they are considering messing around with a married person. If a couple decides it's over before all the legal entanglements get settled, then it's over. On the other hand, an outsider who has no real knowledge of the situation should be wary. A friend of a friend was shot to death by the jealous husband of some woman he "met" on an online dating site. Apparently there was no mutual agreement that it was over.

Oh, hells no! I just wanted a reality check on whether I was terribly old-fashioned to think someone being "separated" was a deal breaker.