Beachlover2
Beach Fanatic
This has been plagarized from Traveltalkonline.com Obviously changes have been made to make it work.
DREADED SOWAL FEVER
Dreaded Sowal Fever is a malady which eventually effects all those who travel to Sowal and truly let her varied sights, sounds, smells, tastes and feelings into their bones. Dreaded Sowal Fever, hereinafter known as DSF, is a real, not imagined, affliction which is contracted by most first time visitors to the Sowal! People contracting the disease usually start showing symptoms within the first twenty-four hours of being in Sowal. It manifests itself in a myriad of different ways, depending on the sufferer. There is no known cure, only treatments, given in bouts of one, two or even six weeks, depending on the funds available to the sufferer.
I suffered my first bout of DSF in September 1985. We spent a week sitting on the beach, viewing spectacular sunsets and having a few drinks at different beach bars. Once contracted, DSF is never cured. The malady did not have a name for me then and in fact remained dormant thereafter?through a combination of lack of money and time and other factors--until early 1990, when we came back to visit the family in Niceville and spent more time on the beach than with the family.
In between those trips to Sowal, the deadly disease continues to affect us, as it does other victims. Victims have been reported posting pictures and beach scenes on office walls and near their desks and purchasing a $1000 Sony digital camera so that they can take digital pictures for the computer. Many folks? computers reflect computer wallpapers and screen savers of Sowal scenes, keeping the malady more alive in the sufferer?s mind, but not necessarily helping folks to recover. Reporters have observed folks checking in on Sowal 6 times or more a day, many of them while they are SUPPOSED to be working, and hurriedly shrinking their browser as the boss walks past. Very severe DSF sufferers have been observed pounding their computer keyboard in frustration as they are unable to get the web cam to come up. People with DSF have reported that they often day dream about that special place in the sun, while at work. Others have reported seeing people in serious business meetings with a silly grin on their face and a far away look in their eyes.
At home it doesn't get any better! The poor sufferer forgets about the lawn, house work, kids, little league, friends, neighbors, family and even their job! In an extreme case, one forgets about house payments, car payments and social responsibilities. All they can think of is, "If I don?t eat lunch at all this month, can I afford another trip to the Sowal this year?" Many are observed listening to Jimmy Buffett or Dread Clampett blasting out of the player, bugging the neighbors and the dog. Folks try to hurry along their next trip to paradise by ordering all kinds of Sowal merchandise, hats, shirts, and tatoos, so they can think about Sowal 24 hours a day. They hope the appearance of the merchandise will cause their neighbors and friends to ask questions about Sowal, and that their tales will cause them to suffer bouts of DSF also, even if they haven?t ever been to the Sowal!!
The initial symptom is an uncontrollable urge to lay on a beach and do absolutely nothing. All those "must do" plans seem to melt away in the Florida sunshine. When the afflicted are asked about going somewhere or doing something, the reply is usually, "What's the difference? It can wait until tomorrow!" DSF is further compounded by the effects of a strange force found in Sowal. It is called "Sand Gravity!" When the disease meets up with this force, the poor afflicted soul finds it hard to even get up to retrieve another cold beverage! The far-gone sufferer has taken to bringing along a cooler so that liquid libations will never be more than an arm?s length away. The disease gets progressively worse as time goes on. Even couch potatoes are more active than DSF sufferers! Another symptom of the disease has been reported by flight attendants, who say that spouses have been observed dragging their mates aboard aircraft leaving for home. The afflicted have been heard to scream, "One more day -- just one more day!!!"
There is no known cure for DSF! All of the people who tried to find a cure, were themselves afflicted and ran off to Sowal! There are only "treatments" for this dreaded affliction. The treatment consists of a large "dose" of warm Florida sunshine, white sandy beaches, warm gulf water and many cold drinks served at a beach bar. There is a downside to this however. The afflicted build up a resistance to the treatments and have to return more and more frequently and for longer periods to relieve the symptoms! Most of the regulars round Sowal are hopelessly and helplessly afflicted and will never recover! The CDC and your government don't even acknowledge that this disease exists because they don't want to have a mass panic and have all of the citizens rush to Sowal. The main problem is, DSF is something that you either already have -- or something you will get!
So, how ?bout it folks? When did YOU first realize that you were suffering the effects of DSF???
DREADED SOWAL FEVER
Dreaded Sowal Fever is a malady which eventually effects all those who travel to Sowal and truly let her varied sights, sounds, smells, tastes and feelings into their bones. Dreaded Sowal Fever, hereinafter known as DSF, is a real, not imagined, affliction which is contracted by most first time visitors to the Sowal! People contracting the disease usually start showing symptoms within the first twenty-four hours of being in Sowal. It manifests itself in a myriad of different ways, depending on the sufferer. There is no known cure, only treatments, given in bouts of one, two or even six weeks, depending on the funds available to the sufferer.
I suffered my first bout of DSF in September 1985. We spent a week sitting on the beach, viewing spectacular sunsets and having a few drinks at different beach bars. Once contracted, DSF is never cured. The malady did not have a name for me then and in fact remained dormant thereafter?through a combination of lack of money and time and other factors--until early 1990, when we came back to visit the family in Niceville and spent more time on the beach than with the family.
In between those trips to Sowal, the deadly disease continues to affect us, as it does other victims. Victims have been reported posting pictures and beach scenes on office walls and near their desks and purchasing a $1000 Sony digital camera so that they can take digital pictures for the computer. Many folks? computers reflect computer wallpapers and screen savers of Sowal scenes, keeping the malady more alive in the sufferer?s mind, but not necessarily helping folks to recover. Reporters have observed folks checking in on Sowal 6 times or more a day, many of them while they are SUPPOSED to be working, and hurriedly shrinking their browser as the boss walks past. Very severe DSF sufferers have been observed pounding their computer keyboard in frustration as they are unable to get the web cam to come up. People with DSF have reported that they often day dream about that special place in the sun, while at work. Others have reported seeing people in serious business meetings with a silly grin on their face and a far away look in their eyes.
At home it doesn't get any better! The poor sufferer forgets about the lawn, house work, kids, little league, friends, neighbors, family and even their job! In an extreme case, one forgets about house payments, car payments and social responsibilities. All they can think of is, "If I don?t eat lunch at all this month, can I afford another trip to the Sowal this year?" Many are observed listening to Jimmy Buffett or Dread Clampett blasting out of the player, bugging the neighbors and the dog. Folks try to hurry along their next trip to paradise by ordering all kinds of Sowal merchandise, hats, shirts, and tatoos, so they can think about Sowal 24 hours a day. They hope the appearance of the merchandise will cause their neighbors and friends to ask questions about Sowal, and that their tales will cause them to suffer bouts of DSF also, even if they haven?t ever been to the Sowal!!
The initial symptom is an uncontrollable urge to lay on a beach and do absolutely nothing. All those "must do" plans seem to melt away in the Florida sunshine. When the afflicted are asked about going somewhere or doing something, the reply is usually, "What's the difference? It can wait until tomorrow!" DSF is further compounded by the effects of a strange force found in Sowal. It is called "Sand Gravity!" When the disease meets up with this force, the poor afflicted soul finds it hard to even get up to retrieve another cold beverage! The far-gone sufferer has taken to bringing along a cooler so that liquid libations will never be more than an arm?s length away. The disease gets progressively worse as time goes on. Even couch potatoes are more active than DSF sufferers! Another symptom of the disease has been reported by flight attendants, who say that spouses have been observed dragging their mates aboard aircraft leaving for home. The afflicted have been heard to scream, "One more day -- just one more day!!!"
There is no known cure for DSF! All of the people who tried to find a cure, were themselves afflicted and ran off to Sowal! There are only "treatments" for this dreaded affliction. The treatment consists of a large "dose" of warm Florida sunshine, white sandy beaches, warm gulf water and many cold drinks served at a beach bar. There is a downside to this however. The afflicted build up a resistance to the treatments and have to return more and more frequently and for longer periods to relieve the symptoms! Most of the regulars round Sowal are hopelessly and helplessly afflicted and will never recover! The CDC and your government don't even acknowledge that this disease exists because they don't want to have a mass panic and have all of the citizens rush to Sowal. The main problem is, DSF is something that you either already have -- or something you will get!
So, how ?bout it folks? When did YOU first realize that you were suffering the effects of DSF???
That's it, we're all sick. 
