kathydwells
Darlene is my middle name, not my nickname
A blonde finds herself in serious trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in dire financial straits. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray...'God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the Lotto.' Lotto night comes, and somebody else wins it. She again prays...'God, please let me win the Lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well.' Lotto night comes and she still has no luck. Once again, she prays...'My God, why have You forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask You for help, and I have always been a good servant to You. PLEASE let me win the Lotto just this one time so I can get my life back in order.' Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open. The blonde is overwhelmed by the Voice of God Himself...'Sweetheart, work with Me on this... Buy a ticket'
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A blonde walks into Best Buy looking for a television. The salesman walks up to her and tells her that the store does not serve blondes. The next day the blonde walks back into Best Buy with a red wig and asks if she could buy the television, but the salesman says to her again, "We don't serve blondes." Disappointed, the blonde takes off her wig and asks the salesman how he knew she was a blonde. The salesman replies, "Because this is a microwave."
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A housewife, an accountant and a lawyer were asked "How much is 2+2?" The housewife replies: "Four!". The accountant says: "I think it's either 3 or 4. Let me run those figures through my spreadsheet one more time." The lawyer pulls the drapes, dims the lights and asks in a hushed voice "How much do you want it to be?"
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An attorney was sitting in his office late one night, when the Devil appeared before him. The Devil told the lawyer, 'I have a proposition for you. You can win every case you try, for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make embarrassing sums of money. All I want in exchange is your soul, your wife's soul, your children's souls, the souls of your parents, grandparents, and parents-in-law, and the souls of all of your friends and law partners.' The lawyer thought about this for a moment, then asked, 'So, what's the catch?
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A blonde walks into Best Buy looking for a television. The salesman walks up to her and tells her that the store does not serve blondes. The next day the blonde walks back into Best Buy with a red wig and asks if she could buy the television, but the salesman says to her again, "We don't serve blondes." Disappointed, the blonde takes off her wig and asks the salesman how he knew she was a blonde. The salesman replies, "Because this is a microwave."
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A housewife, an accountant and a lawyer were asked "How much is 2+2?" The housewife replies: "Four!". The accountant says: "I think it's either 3 or 4. Let me run those figures through my spreadsheet one more time." The lawyer pulls the drapes, dims the lights and asks in a hushed voice "How much do you want it to be?"
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An attorney was sitting in his office late one night, when the Devil appeared before him. The Devil told the lawyer, 'I have a proposition for you. You can win every case you try, for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make embarrassing sums of money. All I want in exchange is your soul, your wife's soul, your children's souls, the souls of your parents, grandparents, and parents-in-law, and the souls of all of your friends and law partners.' The lawyer thought about this for a moment, then asked, 'So, what's the catch?
