Friday Funnies

[kathydwells]

The Center for Disease Control has released a list of symptoms of bird flu. If you experience any of the following, please seek medical treatment immediately:

1. High fever
2. Congestion
3. Nausea
4. Fatigue
5. Aching in the joints
6. An irresistible urge to sh$# on someone's windshield.

 

[kathydwells]

A woman asks her husband, "Would you like some bacon and eggs? A slice of toast and maybe some grapefruit and coffee?"

He declines. "Thanks for asking, but I'm not hungry right now. It's this Viagra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite."

At lunchtime she asked if he would like something. "A bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?"

He declines. "The Viagra," he says, "really trashes my desire for food."

Come dinnertime, she asks if he wants anything to eat. "Would you like a juicy porterhouse steak and scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?"

He declines again. Naw, still not hungry." Well," she says, "would you mind letting me up? I'm starving."

 

[Miss Kitty]

The Center for Disease Control has released a list of symptoms of bird flu. If you experience any of the following, please seek medical treatment immediately:

1. High fever
2. Congestion
3. Nausea
4. Fatigue
5. Aching in the joints
6. An irresistible urge to sh$# on someone's windshield.

hee hee hee..SPLAT! I just knew you'd find this one! Do the Funky Chicken!

 

[CastlesOfSand]

Thanks KD!

 

[Landlocked]

:clap_1:

 

[Ocean Lover]

:rofl:

 

[dbuck]

:clap_1: :clap_1: It wouldn't be Friday without you. :clap_1: :clap_1:

 

[OhioBeachBum]

:clap_1: :clap_1:

 

[Jdarg]

:clap_1: :clap_1: It wouldn't be Friday without you. :clap_1: :clap_1:

ain't it the truth??

 

[Landlocked]

Two rednecks were drinking beer and joy-riding when they
spotted two Hispanic hitch-hikers at the side of the road.
Zeke says to Jake, "Why don't we give those yahoos a scare?
Act like you're going to run off the road and hit them"

Jake agrees and swerves in their direction, but he's had
too much to drink and ran right over them. They both said,
"Oh well, tough luck", and continued on their way.

A little while later, Jake says to Zeke, "I wonder where
those guys were going?"

Without hesitation, Zeke replied, "Florida".

Jake asked him how he knew that and Jakes response was,
"Right after you hit them, I clearly heard one of them
say something about Sunny Beaches."