Friday Funny

[kathydwells]

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.

When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.

The bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."

Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry."

"How soon can I go home?"

 

[kathydwells]

Kids say the darndest things!


MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she
was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six."

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom goodnight. "I love you so
much, that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."

BRITTANY (age 4) had an ear ache and wanted a painkiller. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a childproof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please
don't give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth cough."

D I (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I
cost?"

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: "Why is he whispering in her mouth?"

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?"

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked: "What happened to the flea?"

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for awhile and then asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?"

The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget.... this particular Sunday sermon..."Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you, we are but dust." He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter (who was listening!) Leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mom, what is butt dust?"

 

[Miss Kitty]

I BOW to the Queen of Funny! These made me laugh and get a lump in my throat!!!

 

[kathydwells]

I BOW to the Queen of Funny! These made me laugh and get a lump in my throat!!!

Glad I could make you laugh Miss Kitty. I LOVED the "Butt Dust".

 

[CastlesOfSand]

Love the funnies KD!!

 

[Jdarg]

KD always makes the most of TGIF!! I think if we had a poll called "SoWal Board member we would most like to drink beer with", Kathydwells would win hands down!

 

[CastlesOfSand]

KD always makes the most of TGIF!! I think if we had a poll called "SoWal Board member we would most like to drink beer with", Kathydwells would win hands down!

Here, Here!!!! :clap_1:

 

[Sheila]

KD always makes the most of TGIF!! I think if we had a poll called "SoWal Board member we would most like to drink beer with", Kathydwells would win hands down!

I second that motion!

 

[Rita]

:clap_1: Thanks KD!

Here's another Friday Funny -----

Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last
instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop
of paint on their habits. After conferring about this for a while, the two
nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits, and paint
in the nude. In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door.

*
"Who is it?" calls out one of the nuns.
"Blind man," replies a voice from the other side of the door.

*
The two nuns look at each other and shrug and deciding that no harm
can come from letting a blind man into the room, they open the door.

*
"Nice Boobs," says the man. "Where do you want the blinds?"

 

[CastlesOfSand]

:clap_1: Thanks KD!

Here's another Friday Funny -----

Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last
instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop
of paint on their habits. After conferring about this for a while, the two
nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits, and paint
in the nude. In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door.

*
"Who is it?" calls out one of the nuns.
"Blind man," replies a voice from the other side of the door.

*
The two nuns look at each other and shrug and deciding that no harm
can come from letting a blind man into the room, they open the door.

*
"Nice Boobs," says the man. "Where do you want the blinds?"

Thats funny!!! :clap_1: