Help!

[Landlocked]

My daughter used to do this. It is soooo hard. But I think it's also another way of manipulating. I feel for you. I made the mistake of laying down with her until she fell asleep. Very bad idea...lasted for years.

That's just great.

There goes mommy and daddy time!

 

[Mermaid]

LL, are you familiar with Dr. John Rosemond? He has a parenting advice column in most major newspapers. The question you asked is one that gets asked an awfully lot (see? you're not alone!). You might want to check his website, www.rosemond.com to see if you can get some more insight. I think there's a parent-to-parent question and answer board on it.

Hang in there. Parenting is one tough job sometimes. Entirely worth it, though.

 

[Ocean Lover]

My daughter had an easy gag reflex and when she would cry really hard....ugh.

 

[iwishiwasthere]

Mine is a totallly different response than the others, so don't blast me for my opinion. Let the child sleep on a pallet by the bed. Then work him out of the room.. Both of my girls slept with us, and we DID find time for us :clap_1:. I asked a psychologist friend about it, and her response was that in many countries children sleeping with parents is normal and not uncommon. In our country it is taboo. We both worked, and losing a hour or two of sleep over crying was just not worth it. Both girls left of their own free will. I think back and realize (with both of them gone) that it was not so bad. They are very secure and self confident. Do what you need to do to survive.

 

[Smiling JOe]

I am not a parent, but I think TooFarTampa is dead-on in post number 2. You must teach your kids to be independent thinkers. As a parent it can be difficult to let go. You will probably cry as much as your kid while teaching him/her this. You have to break the kid of these co-dependent tendencies. If not, when the kid grows up, he/she will have more problems rooting back to these formative years.

If you have never seen the tv show, I think it is called Super Nanny, you should. I've seen it only a handful of times, and 80% of the time, it envolves your scenario. You can see the strain that is caused by correcting this behavior, but you can also see the relief that quickly follows. You can teach your kids how you do things or you can allow them to teach you how they will do things. The process is difficult, yet rewarding x 100.

 

[peapod1980]

Peapod, you have 4 so I know you have an answer to this one....

Ugh, don't ask me, I'm no expert on anything!
What I have found is that kids are all so different. There are all sorts of approaches out there about what's supposed to work, which techniques are most effective, yada, yada, yada. In the end, I honestly think it comes down to the individual child's personality and what you as a parent can tolerate.
Lots of people believe in the cry it out (CIO) technique, but there are parents who honestly can't deal with that. If, then, bringing Little Man into your bed calms him down and allows you to get some sleep, then that's what works for you. Although it sounds like your three-in-the-bed thing isn't working too well for the Big People.
I had three great sleepers and now have one not-so-good sleeper. I've done it all trying to get him to sleep in his own bed--sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. I'm noticing, though, as he's beginning to feel more independent as an awake person, he's more willing to sleep in his own bed. If I were you, I would continue to try to encourage him to stay in his own bed and go in and soothe him every few minutes, then walk out. But, if this doesn't work, and/or the crying is too much to take, don't feel like a failure! This, too, shall pass. And I'm told one day you'll miss the fact that he ever wanted to snuggle in the first place...

 

[peapod1980]

If you have never seen the tv show, I think it is called Super Nanny, you should. I've seen it only a handful of times, and 80% of the time, it envolves your scenario. You can see the strain that is caused by correcting this behavior, but you can also see the relief that quickly follows. You can teach your kids how you do things or you can allow them to teach you how they will do things. The process is difficult, yet rewarding x 100.

She definitely helps parents, and I love the way she empowers them; that's such a change for most of the parents on the show. But I have noticed that with most of the families on there, they are usually not struggling merely with sleep issues; the children are often out of control and manipulative in general. The parents are needing to be taught how to be in charge of the household overall.

 

[Landlocked]

She definitely helps parents, and I love the way she empowers them; that's such a change for most of the parents on the show. But I have noticed that with most of the families on there, they are usually not struggling merely with sleep issues; the children are often out of control and manipulative in general. The parents are needing to be taught how to be in charge of the household overall.

That show is a great form of birth control. Those are devil children

 

[Smiling JOe]

That show is a great form of birth control. Those are devil children

I have an idea for a rental kid program which will allow parents to get paid for someone to baby sit. The want-to-be-parents rent a kid (babysitting) for a half day at a time to be sure a baby is really what they want. You could rent your kids out at any age up to about 10 years of age. The want-to-be-parents will get to see all sides of the kid, not just the smiling faces, but the stinky diapers, too. Talk about birth control. I have a feeling the idea would be a failure if put into reality, but it is fun to think.

 

[Mermaid]

I have an idea for a rental kid program which will allow parents to get paid for someone to baby sit. The want-to-be-parents rent a kid (babysitting) for a half day at a time to be sure a baby is really what they want. You could rent your kids out at any age up to about 10 years of age. The want-to-be-parents will get to see all sides of the kid, not just the smiling faces, but the stinky diapers, too. Talk about birth control. I have a feeling the idea would be a failure if put into reality, but it is fun to think.

That might work, if not for the "MY kid won't be like that" syndrome. ;-)