Jdarg
SoWal Expert
I simply cannot believe what we received in the mail yesterday- and I don't know whether to laugh or be horrified (or maybe both!)
Anyway, there was a white paper envelope, from Saint Matthew's Churches in Tulsa, with stuff "written" all over it about how God would be blessing us with all kinds of financial rewards! I was SOOO excited! Finally- I won the lottery! So I ripped the envelope open and found lots of interesting information about how I could collect these riches.
First, I unfolded the paper prayer rug, with a picture of Jesus on one side, and read the instructions about staring at his closed eyes for a long time until they magically "open"!! A miracle! Still following the instructions, I put the piece of paper on the floor, then "touched both my knees to this prayer rug" and prayed for my salvation (money). Next, I refolded the prayer rug, and completed the questionnaire about what I wanted God to do for me. When it asked the question "How much money do you want?", I felt the annual salary of the head of Saint Matthew's Churches would be sufficient, including his stock options and bonuses. I left blank the line where I was supposed to indicate MY DONATION AMOUNT. (Actually I wrote a kinda trashmouth response here).
I placed the used prayer rug (they wanted it back
-yuk, used paper prayer rug) and my financial statement/scam order form back in their postage paid envelope, and inked over all bar codes, addresses, and numbers that I'm sure were going to be used to contact me about my bad attitude, then popped it in the mail.
Here is my question. Could I have attached my postage paid envelope to a brick and mailed it to them?? (Bdarg's brilliant idea).
We are also trying to figure out how in the world this group obtained our address? Most anything coming through the mail at our house would probably be extremely "suspect" to a group like this, so I can't imagine that they bought a mailing list from anyone that has our address!
PS- maybe it was 30ARules' prayer in my signature line?? :rofl:
Anyway, there was a white paper envelope, from Saint Matthew's Churches in Tulsa, with stuff "written" all over it about how God would be blessing us with all kinds of financial rewards! I was SOOO excited! Finally- I won the lottery! So I ripped the envelope open and found lots of interesting information about how I could collect these riches.
First, I unfolded the paper prayer rug, with a picture of Jesus on one side, and read the instructions about staring at his closed eyes for a long time until they magically "open"!! A miracle! Still following the instructions, I put the piece of paper on the floor, then "touched both my knees to this prayer rug" and prayed for my salvation (money). Next, I refolded the prayer rug, and completed the questionnaire about what I wanted God to do for me. When it asked the question "How much money do you want?", I felt the annual salary of the head of Saint Matthew's Churches would be sufficient, including his stock options and bonuses. I left blank the line where I was supposed to indicate MY DONATION AMOUNT. (Actually I wrote a kinda trashmouth response here).
I placed the used prayer rug (they wanted it back
-yuk, used paper prayer rug) and my financial statement/scam order form back in their postage paid envelope, and inked over all bar codes, addresses, and numbers that I'm sure were going to be used to contact me about my bad attitude, then popped it in the mail.Here is my question. Could I have attached my postage paid envelope to a brick and mailed it to them?? (Bdarg's brilliant idea).
We are also trying to figure out how in the world this group obtained our address? Most anything coming through the mail at our house would probably be extremely "suspect" to a group like this, so I can't imagine that they bought a mailing list from anyone that has our address!
PS- maybe it was 30ARules' prayer in my signature line??
:rofl:
