I'm a northerner...but what would you do?

[audie]

i would guess maybe like another poster said people think you know they will be there. or maybe they don't realize what is involved in the planning, head counts, etc. now a days with kids involved in so many activities etc. it may be hard to make the time. maybe a smaller more intimate affair for just your son and immediate family would be in order next year, then people would miss your bash and start rsvp'ing.

 

[Smiling JOe]

I think many people are lazy. Some have no clue what RSVP means and think that it means call if you are coming. There are probably a few people who want to attend, but are embarassed to say that they will not attend. Who knows why you are getting no response? I would be a little embarrassed if my mom was throwing me birthday parties every year up to 35, but it sounds as if your son likes it. I don't mind a party or two on my birthday, but I would enjoy solitude on my birthday, just as well. It can be a great time to reflect on life, where one has been and where one is going.

As for dress, I often try to fit the scene, but I tire of dressing. I think people place too much emphasis on the social aspects of dress. I am always amazed at how one gets stared at if not dressed for church, as if God cares more for those who dress up nicely, or as if the well-dressed folks get a front pew in Heaven. "If you don't know me, look inside. Don't look at the outside." -- Wally Meyer's Grandfather

Of all of the advice on this board, I like Unplugged's the best for this situation. Party planning should not be a stressful thing.

 

[Allifunn]

I think many people are lazy. Some have no clue what RSVP means and think that it means call if you are coming. There are probably a few people who want to attend, but are embarassed to say that they will not attend. Who knows why you are getting no response? I would be a little embarrassed if my mom was throwing me birthday parties every year up to 35, but it sounds as if your son likes it. I don't mind a party or two on my birthday, but I would enjoy solitude on my birthday, just as well. It can be a great time to reflect on life, where one has been and where one is going.

As for dress, I often try to fit the scene, but I tire of dressing. I think people place too much emphasis on the social aspects of dress. I am always amazed at how one gets stared at if not dressed for church, as if God cares more for those who dress up nicely, or as if the well-dressed folks get a front pew in Heaven. "If you don't know me, look inside. Don't look at the outside." -- Wally Meyer's Grandfather


Of all of the advice on this board, I like Unplugged's the best for this situation. Party planning should not be a stressful thing.

I like that grand dad! Dress up or dress down...just do what is comfortable for you..in all aspects! If you are comfortable with yourself...then you reflect that...and you do SJ!

 

[whitesands]

Ohhhh, no,no, no, no...not a birthday party...sorry for the confusion. It's an annual summer family reunion (my husband's side of the family). We started doing this when our son was very young due to his "onsie-ness", to keep him in touch with his paternal relatives so that, hopefully, he would have strong family ties with them. This has turned out to be the case, as it happens.

Also, about dressing for an occasion. As I said, I think the times are changing. We "old folk" must learn to accept the new ways.

I still believe though, that to dress appropriately for an event/destination really is a matter of respect/common courtesy and/or genuine appreciation for the people you are with and/or the occasion at hand. As I said, perhaps I am just old and out of it.

 

[olive]

Mr. K and I hosted a dinner party on Thursday night. One woman decided she would come the DAY of the party. It screwed up the seating at one of the tables. I seated her at the worse spot at the table...facing the entrance to the kitchen. I think the people that don't care to respond have probably not entertained much and don't know about final counts, etc.

I just saw Miss Kitty's claws! :funn:

 

[DBOldford]

I think people get so busy that the RSVP is put away for later, then they forget. People even do this for formal weddings with wedding dinners. Most of our friends are pretty good about this, but we've all been around since the earth's crust was cooling. So are accustomed to a different standard of etiquette. I make a point of touching bases with people before the dinner and they usually tell you in a telephone conversation if they're planning to be there or not, if they have not RSVP'd. It's irritating, but not as bad as having a "no show," especially if you're paying a caterer.

Here's a a story about two perfectly nice people (otherwise), who will not receive another invitation to our house. Very nice multi-course dinner party with wines purchased at auction, a total of 10 people invited. The party happened to be on July 4th evening, for reasons I won't go into. One couple excused themselves after the entree to go over and watch fireworks at one of the wineries nearby ("It's our tradition!"), then actually came back to the house afterwards, saying they simply could not forego the dessert course!

Miss Kitty, I am with you on this stuff. We had someone cooking that night, so I had him serve the two of them dessert in the dining room with both doors closed, with all the empty glasses, used napkins, and burned-down candles. The rest of us were in the living room having brandy and truffles and sparkling repartee that results from too much good wine. I was happy that the "too much wine" part fueled my own bad manners in doing that, to tell the truth. The husband apologizes for this gaff everytime we see him, but that one time was enuff for me. (I think she's one of those depressed ones.)

 

[Miss Kitty]

I think Donna has some kitty in her!!!

 

[Unplugged]

Enjoyed that story Donna :clap_1:

We took our 1st trip out your way last year and enjoyed it so much, we're planning another trip this Fall. I would like to pick your brains about must see spots - on another thread, of course ;-)

 

[whitesands]

Donna, thank you for that...

 

[FuBar-funn]

I think young people today just have a different frame of mind about everything. Maybe you should try calling and talking to them, maybe mentioning that you need a head count for the caterer, etc...

I'm a "young" person (27) and I have to say it's not ALL young people. We always have a hard time getting people to respond to things--even my wedding--mom had to call people (OLD AND YOUNG) to see if they would be coming. For all of my baby showers I pretty much had to do all of the calling to see if people were coming, b/c hardly anyone RSVP'd, and I just threw a shower for someone and she had to do all of the calling, there were 20 couples on her list--2 called to RSVP. . .DISGUSTING! Apparently people don't understand what it's like to plan and host an event, so it's no skin off their nose if they don't RSVP. I have even gone so far as to put an email address on invites so people don't have to call. . this is one of my BIGGEST pet peeves--it's so rude.
A story for another day--even ruder--when you get the response, I guess we can come, I don't think we have anything better to do. . .