Uncle Timmy
Beach Fanatic
I got this e-mail and just had to share.....................
I LOVE MY JOB . . . . .
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.
He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister She then sent it to radio
station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a
worst
job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down
lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to
make you realize it's not so bad after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with
a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the
bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This
time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is
this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000
piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a
delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a
garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn
good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the
hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole
suit
with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going
well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I
scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt
started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was
done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had
sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't
have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't tick to it. However,
the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I
thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the
crack of my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
other divers, was all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted
the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water
decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach
the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at
the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter
running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it
on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out,
but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat
to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."
I LOVE MY JOB . . . . .
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.
He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister She then sent it to radio
station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a
worst
job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down
lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to
make you realize it's not so bad after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with
a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the
bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This
time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is
this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000
piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a
delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a
garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn
good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the
hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole
suit
with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going
well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I
scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt
started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was
done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had
sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't
have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't tick to it. However,
the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I
thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the
crack of my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
other divers, was all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted
the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water
decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach
the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at
the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter
running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it
on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out,
but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat
to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."
Poor booty.
