Miss Critter
Beach Fanatic
MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE
NICKNAMES
* If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will
call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
* If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately
refer to each other as Fat-Boy, Gas-man and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
* When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each
throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have
anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
* When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket
calculators.
MONEY
* A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
* A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need
but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
* A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and
toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
* The average number of items in the typical woman's
bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 15 of
these
items.
ARGUMENTS
* A woman has the last word in any argument.
* Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new
argument.
FUTURE
* A woman worries about the future until she gets a
husband.
* A man never worries about the future until he gets a
wife..
MARRIAGE
* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he
doesn't.
* A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change,
but she does.
DRESSING UP
* A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants,
empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
* A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
* Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
* Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
* Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.
She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends,
favorite
foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
* A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in
the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two
people remembering the same thing!
NICKNAMES
* If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will
call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
* If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately
refer to each other as Fat-Boy, Gas-man and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
* When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each
throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have
anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
* When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket
calculators.
MONEY
* A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
* A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need
but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
* A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and
toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
* The average number of items in the typical woman's
bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 15 of
these
items.
ARGUMENTS
* A woman has the last word in any argument.
* Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new
argument.
FUTURE
* A woman worries about the future until she gets a
husband.
* A man never worries about the future until he gets a
wife..
MARRIAGE
* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he
doesn't.
* A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change,
but she does.
DRESSING UP
* A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants,
empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
* A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
* Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
* Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
* Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.
She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends,
favorite
foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
* A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in
the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two
people remembering the same thing!
;-)