Monday Funny

[Landlocked]

I'll throw a little bit on myself today.

Definition of Outdoor Barbecuing It's the only type of
cooking a "real" man will do:

When a man volunteers to do such cooking, the following chain
of events is put into motion.

(1) The woman goes to the store.
(2) The woman fixes the salad, vegetables, and dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a
tray along with the necessary cooking utensils, and takes it to
the man, who is lounging beside the grill, drinking a beer.
(4) The man places the meat on the grill.
(5) The woman goes inside to set the table and check the
vegetables.
(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.
(7) The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the
woman.
(8) The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table.
(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
(10) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off."

And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's
just no pleasing some women.

 

[Beachlover2]

Wow - were you at my house last night?

 

[RiverOtter]

 

[Landlocked]

Wow - were you at my house last night?

Its hard work, but somebody's gotta do it.

 

[kathydwells]

I'll throw a little bit on myself today.

Definition of Outdoor Barbecuing It's the only type of
cooking a "real" man will do:

When a man volunteers to do such cooking, the following chain
of events is put into motion.

(1) The woman goes to the store.
(2) The woman fixes the salad, vegetables, and dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a
tray along with the necessary cooking utensils, and takes it to
the man, who is lounging beside the grill, drinking a beer.
(4) The man places the meat on the grill.
(5) The woman goes inside to set the table and check the
vegetables.
(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.
(7) The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the
woman.
(8) The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table.
(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
(10) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off."

And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's
just no pleasing some women.

What a man:clap_1:

 

[kathydwells]

Why I fired my secretary . . .

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up that morning.


I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a present for me.


As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday."


I thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids will remember.


My kids came in to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.


As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, "Good Morning Boss, Happy Birthday!" It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.


I worked until one o'clock and then Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your birthday, let's go out to lunch, just you and me." I said, "Thanks Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!"





We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. We dined instead at a little place with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day...We don't need to go back to the office, do we?"





I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?" She said, "Let's go to my apartment."





After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for a moment. I'll be right back." "Ok." I nervously replied.





She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake ... Followed by my wife, kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy Birthday".







And I just sat there...





On the couch...





Naked. :nono1:

 

[Landlocked]

ouch :shock:

 

[Landlocked]

Urgent call....

 

[whiteyfunn]

Wait...I love stories like that.

 

[Landlocked]