kathydwells
Darlene is my middle name, not my nickname
The next Survivor series...
Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3
kids each for six weeks. Each kid will play two sports and either
take music or dance classes. There is no fast food. Each man must take
care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework,
complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of
"pretend" bills with not enough money.
In addition, each man will have to budget in money for
groceries each week. Each man must remember the birthdays of all their
friends and relatives, and send cards out on time. Each man must also take
each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a
haircut appointment. He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient
visit per child to the Urgent Care (weekend, evening, on a holiday or
right when they're about to leave for vacation). He must also make cookies
or cupcakes for a social function. Each man will be responsible
for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and
keeping it presentable at all times.
The men will only have access to television when the kids are
asleep and all chores are done. There is only one TV between them, and a
remote with dead batteries.
Each father will be required to know all of the words to every
stupid song that comes on TV and the name of each and every character
on cartoons.
The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, which they
will apply to themselves either while driving or making three lunches.
Each man will have to make an Indian hut model with six
toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a serving
of peas.
Each man must adorn himself with jewelry, wear uncomfortable
yet stylish shoes, keep their nails polished and eyebrows groomed. The men
must try to get through each day without snot, spit-up or barf on their
clothing.
During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe
abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained
mood swings, but never once complain or slow down from other duties. They
must try to explain what a tampon is for when the 6-yr old boy finds it
in the purse.
They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time
at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.
He will need to read a book and then pray with the children
each night without falling asleep, and then feed them, dress them, brush
their teeth and comb their hair each morning by 7:00. They must leave
the home with no food on their face or clothes.
They must clean up after their sick children at 2:00 a.m. and
then spend the remainder of the day tending to that child and waiting on
them hand and foot until they are better. They must have a loving, age
appropriate reply to, "You're not the boss of me".
A test will be given at the end of the six weeks. Each father
will be required to know all of the following information: each child's
birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's
name.
Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and
length of labor, each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack,
favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and
what they want to be when they grow up.
The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The
last man wins only if... he still has enough energy to be intimate with
his spouse at a moment's notice.
If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over
and over again for the next 18-25 years... eventually earning the right
to be called Mother!
Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3
kids each for six weeks. Each kid will play two sports and either
take music or dance classes. There is no fast food. Each man must take
care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework,
complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of
"pretend" bills with not enough money.
In addition, each man will have to budget in money for
groceries each week. Each man must remember the birthdays of all their
friends and relatives, and send cards out on time. Each man must also take
each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a
haircut appointment. He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient
visit per child to the Urgent Care (weekend, evening, on a holiday or
right when they're about to leave for vacation). He must also make cookies
or cupcakes for a social function. Each man will be responsible
for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and
keeping it presentable at all times.
The men will only have access to television when the kids are
asleep and all chores are done. There is only one TV between them, and a
remote with dead batteries.
Each father will be required to know all of the words to every
stupid song that comes on TV and the name of each and every character
on cartoons.
The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, which they
will apply to themselves either while driving or making three lunches.
Each man will have to make an Indian hut model with six
toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a serving
of peas.
Each man must adorn himself with jewelry, wear uncomfortable
yet stylish shoes, keep their nails polished and eyebrows groomed. The men
must try to get through each day without snot, spit-up or barf on their
clothing.
During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe
abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained
mood swings, but never once complain or slow down from other duties. They
must try to explain what a tampon is for when the 6-yr old boy finds it
in the purse.
They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time
at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.
He will need to read a book and then pray with the children
each night without falling asleep, and then feed them, dress them, brush
their teeth and comb their hair each morning by 7:00. They must leave
the home with no food on their face or clothes.
They must clean up after their sick children at 2:00 a.m. and
then spend the remainder of the day tending to that child and waiting on
them hand and foot until they are better. They must have a loving, age
appropriate reply to, "You're not the boss of me".
A test will be given at the end of the six weeks. Each father
will be required to know all of the following information: each child's
birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's
name.
Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and
length of labor, each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack,
favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and
what they want to be when they grow up.
The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The
last man wins only if... he still has enough energy to be intimate with
his spouse at a moment's notice.
If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over
and over again for the next 18-25 years... eventually earning the right
to be called Mother!
