kathydwells
Darlene is my middle name, not my nickname
A little old lady is sitting on a park bench in Miami Beach. A man walks over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman asks, "Are you a stranger here?" He replies, "I used to live here years ago." "So, where were you all these years?" "In prison," he says.
"For what did they put you in prison?" He looks at her, and very quietly says, "I killed my wife." "Oh," says the woman. "So you're single..."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
There were two elderly people living in a Florida mobile home park. He
was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number
of years.
One evening there was a community supper in the big activity center.
The two were at the same table, across from one another.
As the meal went on, he made a few admiring glances at her and finally
gathered his courage to ask her, "Will you marry me?"
After about six seconds of 'careful consideration,' she answered, "Yes.
Yes, I will."
The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to
their respective places.
Next morning, he was troubled. "Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?"
He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. Not
even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and
called her. First, he explained that he didn't remember as well as he
used to.
Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more
courage, he inquired, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say
'Yes' or did you say 'No'?"
He was delighted to hear her say, "Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I
meant it with all my heart."
Then she continued, "I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't
remember who had asked me."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"
Second one says, "No, its Thursday!"
Third one says, "So am I.
Let's go get a beer."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid.
It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect."
"Really," answered the neighbor.
"What kind is it?"
"Twelve thirty."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a
gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later the doctor spoke
to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"
Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be
cheerful."
The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur.
Be careful.'"
"For what did they put you in prison?" He looks at her, and very quietly says, "I killed my wife." "Oh," says the woman. "So you're single..."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
There were two elderly people living in a Florida mobile home park. He
was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number
of years.
One evening there was a community supper in the big activity center.
The two were at the same table, across from one another.
As the meal went on, he made a few admiring glances at her and finally
gathered his courage to ask her, "Will you marry me?"
After about six seconds of 'careful consideration,' she answered, "Yes.
Yes, I will."
The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to
their respective places.
Next morning, he was troubled. "Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?"
He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. Not
even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and
called her. First, he explained that he didn't remember as well as he
used to.
Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more
courage, he inquired, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say
'Yes' or did you say 'No'?"
He was delighted to hear her say, "Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I
meant it with all my heart."
Then she continued, "I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't
remember who had asked me."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"
Second one says, "No, its Thursday!"
Third one says, "So am I.
Let's go get a beer."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid.
It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect."
"Really," answered the neighbor.
"What kind is it?"
"Twelve thirty."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a
gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later the doctor spoke
to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"
Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be
cheerful."
The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur.
Be careful.'"
