Passive-Aggressive

[Alicia Leonard]

Yes, it's interesting until you find yourself on the receiving end of it. The internet seems to capture a lot of those types of people and they're even worse when they know that there's slim (if any) chance of meeting those they snark at in person! The relative safety of cyber-space makes them braver than they'd ever be in other situations. I think it's such a sad personality trait.

It's interesting if it's in person and your background is sociology /psychology. The interesting part is how the similar attributes of a personality disorder manifast in so many people to be able to diagnose it across the spectrum.

People who hide behind aliases are bullies sometimes or maybe they are someone who has been hurt and they act out to express their pain. Another person may wrap their pain in a blanket of generalizations. That's why I used my real name here and this is the only BB I have ever taken part in. I've been treated unfairly by some who do not know me in person on this board. No one likes to be hurt or to hurt.

 

[Lynnie]

It's interesting if it's in person and your background is sociology /psychology. The interesting part is how the similar attributes of a personality disorder manifast in so many people to be able to diagnose it across the spectrum.

People who hide behind aliases are bullies sometimes or maybe they are someone who has been hurt and they act out to express their pain. Another person may wrap their pain in a blanket of generalizations. That's why I used my real name here and this is the only BB I have ever taken part in. I've been treated unfairly by some who do not know me in person on this board. No one likes to be hurt or to hurt.

I don't have a background in sociology/psychology, which might explain why I find it more shocking. After a few months however, the shock has waned and I feel more compassion for her because there is obviously a deeper issue.

As for the boards, I have read some news blips and the comments trailing (posts) are unbelievable. I stay away from those. One thing lost in cyberspace is pitch/tonation, expression.

There are those who just plain don't like each other, though........ How can you not like someone you've never met?

 

[scooterbug44]

You just dislike them on principle/based on their opinions.

One thing I find very interesting is that the impressions of people I form based on their posts is pretty accurate for how well I like them when I meet them in real life.

Can't imagine being on another BB where people don't know each other and behave/comment/insult like they do on the online papers etc.

 

[cheesehead]

I had a m-i-l who used that behavior. And, also used guilt, {my mom did too}. You fugure out that the indivdual is an unhappy camper, and has to "beat" someone down{or try} to make themselves feel good. Go figure.

 

[Lynnie]

Interesting cheesehead. I don't know enough about all of this, but this person tries intimidation, mean stares, etc......not guilt. She's definitely unhappy. And, I suspect I've known others like this, but she is the most recent person and it has been strange watching her personality and drama unfold before my very eyes.

For those who are interested in psychology, we have recently learned that this person is adopted. Seems benign to me, but it has evidently had an effect on her psychologically. I have never heard her make a nice or endearing comment about her family unless it revolved around money; then, her parents were loving.

While I'm not perfect (and, like that I'm not), I was raised with the Golden Rule and a lot of love. I'm thankful.

 

[Alicia Leonard]

When someone is mean to me, I just imagine they look like this and then I feel better.

 

[Douglas the Intrepid]

When someone is mean to me, I just imagine they look like this and then I feel better.

You promised not to share those pics I sent you Aleonard! ;-)

 

[Alicia Leonard]

Interesting cheesehead. I don't know enough about all of this, but this person tries intimidation, mean stares, etc......not guilt. She's definitely unhappy. And, I suspect I've known others like this, but she is the most recent person and it has been strange watching her personality and drama unfold before my very eyes.

For those who are interested in psychology, we have recently learned that this person is adopted. Seems benign to me, but it has evidently had an effect on her psychologically. I have never heard her make a nice or endearing comment about her family unless it revolved around money; then, her parents were loving.

While I'm not perfect (and, like that I'm not), I was raised with the Golden Rule and a lot of love. I'm thankful.

Your friend sounds closer to Bi-polar, or narcissistic (NPD). The PAs I have worked with always used guilt or verbal abuse to try and control family or friends. If you look through some other personality issues, you will probably find your friend. Not all PA's are narcissistic, but all NPD's use PA tactics to build and shelter their non-existent ego. As far as adoption, she may not have bonded and just be emotionally stunted and spoiled. Or, she may have never been allowed to be autonomous from her adoptive parents and that is when you see real issues.

Passive-aggressive personality disorder was listed as an Axis II personality disorder in the DSM-III-R, but was moved in the DSM-IV to Appendix B ("Criteria Sets and Axes Provided for Further Study") because of controversy and the need for further research on how to also categorize the behaviors in a future edition. As an alternative, the diagnosis Personality disorder not otherwise specified may be used instead.
The DSM-IV Appendix B definition is as follows:[3]
A) A pervasive pattern of negativistic attitudes and passive resistance to demands for adequate performance, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicted by four (or more) of the following:

1. passively resists fulfilling routine social and occupational tasks
2. complains of being misunderstood and unappreciated by others
3. is sullen and argumentative
4. unreasonably criticizes and scorns authority
5. expresses envy and resentment toward those apparently more fortunate
6. voices exaggerated and persistent complaints of personal misfortune
7. alternates between hostile defiance and contrition

B) Does not occur exclusively during major depressive episodes and is not better accounted for by dysthymic disorder.

 

[Alicia Leonard]

You promised not to share those pics I sent you Aleonard! ;-)

Well, at least you still have your clothes on in this one. I didn't post any of the nekid ones. You didn't call me last night. I'm acting out.

 

[Douglas the Intrepid]

Well, at least you still have your clothes on in this one. I didn't post any of the nekid ones. You didn't call me last night. I'm acting out.

:rofl:

My district manager is actually very passive aggressive. If you say or do anything he doesn't agree with, he will get a terse smile and go along with it, then the next day do a ninja audit or deny requested time off. Grrrr....