Shouting is the new spanking

[Andy A]

There is nothing wrong with spanking if its done in the right way and at the right time. I usually knew ahead of time if I was going to get a spanking. I used it on my six children and all of them are productive human beings and are not in jail or a drag on society.

 

[scooterbug44]

I certainly deserved and earned every spanking I ever got.

Time-outs were a joke and yelling had no effect - discipline was a combo of spankings, manual labor, loss of privileges, and the shame of disappointing my family.

 

[Teresa]

often the "yellers" I see don't want to get up and go get the child, or they don't want to stop what they are doing to redirect the child

It does take a lot of consistent effort to raise children...I personally cringe at the words "self esteem" as something that can be given to a person. To me it comes from accomplishing, not being. A person has to do good, be good to feel good.

Much can be given a child through teaching lovingly, kindly, consistently, firmly, and most of all peacefully.... we are always telling children to use their words to express their frustrations. I think parents need to learn this lesson as well.

is spanking ever okay? well, this is the personal choice and decision of each parent. would I hit my dog in order to teach her a lesson? no. should I do so with my child? for me the answer is no. I would rather teach using words and consequences, consistency and firmness. Its not easy sometimes! and yelling does tend to creep in. but each of us as a parent has to keep learning what works best for individual children and what teaches most effectively.

believe me, before I had children I had opinions on all the child/discipline issues (especially after taking all those child psychology and other courses). actually having a child has taught me that the answers are never so easy. I have come to believe that good parents keep seeking and learning on the job - good parents are far from perfect... but they do their very best and have similar expectations for their children.

 

[mtlinscomb]

Over a summer visit with my grandparents I pushed my grandmother to the limit one afternoon. The stinging sensation of a stripped clean ligustrum branch across the back of the legs is one I will never forget. Was it right? Probably not. But I can guarantee I never acted up in the grocery store with her ever again. The occasional swat to the rear from my parents never did much, but I was always scared of pissing Nana off after that day. To this day we speak multiple times a week, we argue constantly like most Cajuns, and I can't thank her enough for putting me in my place that day.

 

[scooterbug44]

Yep - I've never spanked a kid (left that to their parents), but I always got results because they knew I would punish them in other ways.

I don't make empty threats, so as soon as they "tested me" and realized that, it was smooth sailing.