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Something Different
- Thread starter Lake View Too
- Start date
carson
Beach Fanatic
Two good ones, equal opportunity too.
Obama
Obama walks into Chase Bank and says to the teller, “Good morning, could you cash this check for me”? “It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID?” She replies. Obama says, “sorry, I didn’t think I needed to bring it with me after all I am the president!” The teller tells him, “yes sir, I know who you are but with all the government regulations I need that ID. But look, this is what we can do: One day Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putting iron and made a beautiful shot across the bank lobby into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and we cashed his check. So, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you?” Obama stood there thinking, and thinking and finally says,”honestly, nothing comes to mind. I can’t think of a single thing I can do.” The teller turns to him and says, ”great, will that be large or small bills, Mr. President?”
Bush
Bush Presidential Library
There's a show on C-SPAN about presidential libraries. Here're what the draft plans for the George W. Bush Library now call for:
The Alberto Gonzales Room - Where you can't remember any of the exhibits.
The Hurricane Katrina Room - It's still under construction.
The Texas Air National Guard Room - Where you don't have to even show up.
The Walter Reed Hospital Room - Where they don't let you in.
The Guantanamo Bay Room - Where they don't let you out.
The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room - Nobody has been able to find it.
The War in Iraq Room - After you complete your first tour, they can force you to go back for your second and third and fourth and fifth tours.
The K-Street Project Gift Shop - Where you can buy an election, or, if no one cares, steal one.
The Men's Room - Where you could meet a Republican Senator (or two).
To be fair, the President has done some good things, and so the museum will have an electron microscope to help you locate them.
When asked, President Bush said that he didn't care so much about the individual exhibits as long as his museum was better than his father's.
Obama
Obama walks into Chase Bank and says to the teller, “Good morning, could you cash this check for me”? “It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID?” She replies. Obama says, “sorry, I didn’t think I needed to bring it with me after all I am the president!” The teller tells him, “yes sir, I know who you are but with all the government regulations I need that ID. But look, this is what we can do: One day Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putting iron and made a beautiful shot across the bank lobby into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and we cashed his check. So, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you?” Obama stood there thinking, and thinking and finally says,”honestly, nothing comes to mind. I can’t think of a single thing I can do.” The teller turns to him and says, ”great, will that be large or small bills, Mr. President?”
Bush
Bush Presidential Library
There's a show on C-SPAN about presidential libraries. Here're what the draft plans for the George W. Bush Library now call for:
The Alberto Gonzales Room - Where you can't remember any of the exhibits.
The Hurricane Katrina Room - It's still under construction.
The Texas Air National Guard Room - Where you don't have to even show up.
The Walter Reed Hospital Room - Where they don't let you in.
The Guantanamo Bay Room - Where they don't let you out.
The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room - Nobody has been able to find it.
The War in Iraq Room - After you complete your first tour, they can force you to go back for your second and third and fourth and fifth tours.
The K-Street Project Gift Shop - Where you can buy an election, or, if no one cares, steal one.
The Men's Room - Where you could meet a Republican Senator (or two).
To be fair, the President has done some good things, and so the museum will have an electron microscope to help you locate them.
When asked, President Bush said that he didn't care so much about the individual exhibits as long as his museum was better than his father's.
Lake View Too
SoWal Insider
Two very elderly ladies are sitting on a park bench. One turns to the other and says, "I know you are are an old and dear friend, whom I've known for most of my life, but I can't remember your name. Can you tell me, what is your name? The other lady just sits and stares at her, with a rather blank look on her face, for a few moments, then,for a few moments more, and then for a few moments more. I few minutes go by, and then she slowly speaks, "When do you need to know..."
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Lake View Too
SoWal Insider
LTV: dark and unbalanced.