melissa
Beach Lover
WINTER CLASSES FOR MEN
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY Monday, January 23rd, 2006
NEW CLASSES WILL BEGIN ON February 2nd, 2006
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS,
CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.
Class 1 How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide
Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM.
Class 2 The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself? Round Table
Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3 Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4 Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor --- Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5 After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The
Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for
2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM
Class 6 Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant
Other. Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and
Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7 Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The
Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming. Open
Forum . Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8 Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your
Health. Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday,
Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9 Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life
Testimonials. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
Class 10 Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel
Parks? Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Class 11 Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing . Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be
determined.
Class 12 How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion Relaxation Exercises,
Meditation and Breathing Techniques. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday
for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 13 How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays,
Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To
Be Late. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 14 The Kitchen Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used. Live
Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY Monday, January 23rd, 2006
NEW CLASSES WILL BEGIN ON February 2nd, 2006
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS,
CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.
Class 1 How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide
Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM.
Class 2 The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself? Round Table
Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3 Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4 Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor --- Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5 After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The
Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for
2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM
Class 6 Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant
Other. Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and
Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7 Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The
Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming. Open
Forum . Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8 Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your
Health. Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday,
Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9 Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life
Testimonials. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
Class 10 Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel
Parks? Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Class 11 Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing . Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be
determined.
Class 12 How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion Relaxation Exercises,
Meditation and Breathing Techniques. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday
for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 13 How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays,
Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To
Be Late. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 14 The Kitchen Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used. Live
Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
I know the male half in this household could use some of those classes. Won't elaborate on which ones! But he knows!
