30gAy
Beach Fanatic
Walton Funn, August 9, 2006
SoWal diversifies economy.
Regional economic leaders are hailing a recent development in the south Walton economy. ?As a tourist based area, it is so important that we create other sources of jobs for locals beyond just the tourist industry.? It seems that SoWal has taken its first steps in this direction.
The enthusiasm is being directed towards the establishment, in SoWal, of a major producer of manufactured diamonds. Production of man made diamonds, also known as cubic zirconias, is usually a highly technologically advanced process.
A local company has developed a new, easier method of producing the diamonds.
?Look, basically all you need to produce a diamond is carbon, and a lot of heat and pressure.? Says John Fitzgerald of Grayton Beach based Pubic Zirconias, ?We have found a unique source for this heat and pressure right here in Walton County.?
?Just look at the demographics- this is the whitest, most conservative place in the area. The asses here are so tight, that we can put a slug of graphite up the anus and within a week we have a lovely 2 carat diamond!?
Analysts note that recent online comments by 30-gAy making fun of republicans and the religious right have only added to the pressure. ?That whole ?Free the Girls? story alone probably netted us about 10 million in production.?, says Fitzgerald.
Not everyone is pleased with this revelation. Specialists at Eglin?s Weapons Lab have been noted a potential danger in this discovery. ?We are concerned that a terrorist may try to insert some Uranium 235 up his butt while looking at some Danish cartoons, there is a possibility that the material could be compressed enough to initiate a nuclear fission reaction.? Homeland Security spokespeople are downplaying the risk of the so called ?butt bomb?, however.
"A diamond is forever, and a butt diamond is there at the end........"
SoWal diversifies economy.
Regional economic leaders are hailing a recent development in the south Walton economy. ?As a tourist based area, it is so important that we create other sources of jobs for locals beyond just the tourist industry.? It seems that SoWal has taken its first steps in this direction.
The enthusiasm is being directed towards the establishment, in SoWal, of a major producer of manufactured diamonds. Production of man made diamonds, also known as cubic zirconias, is usually a highly technologically advanced process.
A local company has developed a new, easier method of producing the diamonds.
?Look, basically all you need to produce a diamond is carbon, and a lot of heat and pressure.? Says John Fitzgerald of Grayton Beach based Pubic Zirconias, ?We have found a unique source for this heat and pressure right here in Walton County.?
?Just look at the demographics- this is the whitest, most conservative place in the area. The asses here are so tight, that we can put a slug of graphite up the anus and within a week we have a lovely 2 carat diamond!?
Analysts note that recent online comments by 30-gAy making fun of republicans and the religious right have only added to the pressure. ?That whole ?Free the Girls? story alone probably netted us about 10 million in production.?, says Fitzgerald.
Not everyone is pleased with this revelation. Specialists at Eglin?s Weapons Lab have been noted a potential danger in this discovery. ?We are concerned that a terrorist may try to insert some Uranium 235 up his butt while looking at some Danish cartoons, there is a possibility that the material could be compressed enough to initiate a nuclear fission reaction.? Homeland Security spokespeople are downplaying the risk of the so called ?butt bomb?, however.
"A diamond is forever, and a butt diamond is there at the end........"
