Spring Break

[Smiling JOe]

I agree. But, looking back I was very stupid at 15, 16, 17, 18 and sometimes now at 40. I think the world is safer now, due to DNA testing. The kids today are smarter in ways we weren't.. I guess, it's how you look at it.

Did I miss something? So now we can tell who the father is? Now we can prove that a particular person was involved or at a crime? Please, help me learn why we are safer now. When I was growing up, we used to drink alcohol, and that was not necessarily safe or good. I cannot tell you how fortunate I am to be alive today. Today, kids are snorting cocaine, smoking crack, smoking pot, doing meth, taking extacy, huffing Nitrous Oxide, and much, much more. Safer? I would not say so. Smarter? perhaps, but that is not necessary safer. With the internet, kids today can learn how to grow good pot, psycodelic mushrooms, make meth, build Potato Canons, etc. Kids are also able to easily access any kind of porn with the click of a mouse. I don't know that the world is any less safe than it was when I was in college, but it sure is not safer in my opinion.

 

[Rudyjohn]

I was a wild child and maybe that is why I am over-protective now. But when you start to think of the things you did when you were younger, then consider that it is possible that your kid will do all that and worse stuff now, you have to plan ahead.

Boy, are you right about that. I won't repeat what everyone has already said on this thread. But, I will agree with the fact that if YOU"VE done it, then you already know what to expect. I am terrified of what my son might do or even just be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Someone said on this thread, it's the values that are learned at home and you must hope (& pray) for the best. I am no prude and I have certainly seen it all. It just makes me sick to think about what it will be like. It's the alcohol and drugs that worry me the most. Not the transients, or bums, or the street life, or gang activity. That's in my son's high school every day already.

 

[Smiling JOe]

JohnRudy,

I think you said it well. As parents, you must teach your kids morals, principles, ethics, proper behavior, etc. At some point, you have to let your kids test their own ideas and learn on their own, becoming an independent and free thinker, otherwise, they never learn to think for themselves. If your highschool kid does anything on his or her own, I encourage to give them some freedom and make their own choices. Before you do so, sit down and talk with them, not preaching at them, and let them know that you love them and that you respect and trust them enough to make their own decisions and choices. Tell them of your fear of how life would be without them. You may not realize it, but your children make plenty of real world life decisions daily, so why not go ahead and let them know that you trust them to choose wisely. It is their life at risk, not yours.

That said, when I get kids, they are not leaving the house until they are 26. :funn:Just kidding. ;-)

 

[Rudyjohn]

JohnRudy,

I think you said it well. As parents, you must teach your kids morals, principles, ethics, proper behavior, etc. At some point, you have to let your kids test their own ideas and learn on their own, becoming an independent and free thinker, otherwise, they never learn to think for themselves. If your highschool kid does anything on his or her own, I encourage to give them some freedom and make their own choices. Before you do so, sit down and talk with them, not preaching at them, and let them know that you love them and that you respect and trust them enough to make their own decisions and choices. Tell them of your fear of how life would be without them. You may not realize it, but your children make plenty of real world life decisions daily, so why not go ahead and let them know that you trust them to choose wisely. It is their life at risk, not yours.

That said, when I get kids, they are not leaving the house until they are 26. :funn:Just kidding. ;-)

The last thing I say to him as he's getting out of the car to go somewhere funn, I always say, "Collin, just do the right thing." He always nods and says, "I know." Just those 4 or 5 words says "I trust you." So far, so good.

 

[Dabell]

The last thing I say to him as he's getting out of the car to go somewhere funn, I always say, "Collin, just do the right thing." He always nods and says, "I know." Just those 4 or 5 words says "I trust you." So far, so good.

Yeah... You need to have trust in your kid. Like it or not, if your kid wants to try something , he/she will, with or without your permission.

 

[nancy jean]

I agree with you all about giving the kids a chance to test their own ideas, etc. My kids are "old" now, and did some testing of their own...but it was their own....I did not foot the bill so they could express themselves. Also, going somewhere on spring break was not a god-given right then. Lucky for me I guess.

Some of todays parents think that if they pay for the vacation then the kids become someone else's responsibility. I was told that his little girl wouldn't do any of things that we had evidence of.

Now I have grandchildren that are fast approaching those "trying" years. Believe me, I won't even let them have spring break at my house without me or a parent when the time comes...and I AM their buddy. My grandkids and I have a natural bond (as I've told my kids)....we have a common enemy...their parents!! :roll:

Bonus: Now that my kids are "30 something" I do get to be their friend

 

[Allifunn]

JohnRudy,

I think you said it well. As parents, you must teach your kids morals, principles, ethics, proper behavior, etc. At some point, you have to let your kids test their own ideas and learn on their own, becoming an independent and free thinker, otherwise, they never learn to think for themselves. If your highschool kid does anything on his or her own, I encourage to give them some freedom and make their own choices. Before you do so, sit down and talk with them, not preaching at them, and let them know that you love them and that you respect and trust them enough to make their own decisions and choices. Tell them of your fear of how life would be without them. You may not realize it, but your children make plenty of real world life decisions daily, so why not go ahead and let them know that you trust them to choose wisely. It is their life at risk, not yours.

That said, when I get kids, they are not leaving the house until they are 26. :funn:Just kidding. ;-)

When you "get" kids?? Like a cold?? :funn: When you HAVE kids SJ
That said, I agree with you, there are 2 schools of thought, and I am with you, at some point you have to trust your kids to make good decisions, and they are going to do things sooner or later with out your permission, so if you help them and teach them early on, they will be prepared to make good choices and have the strength of their convictions (while still having funn)!

 

[DBOldford]

Yes, things are very different with adult children than when they are teenagers. What I am referring to is the situation where a parent of a teen basically allows their kid to do anything they wish, just to keep the child from feeling angry or resentful toward the parent. Some people are afraid of their own children. I have seen children manipulate the parents this way, only to turn around and criticize them later for not being stricter, more consistent, etc. And usually, this happens when a parent wants so desperately to trust their kid unequivocably. My point is that practically any teenager can go astray when peer pressure kicks in and there are no adults around to temper things.

Guess I got a little hot on this subject, as the spring break time approaches. It is very frustrating to be over 3,000 miles away and get a call that your house has been trashed by a bunch of unsupervised kids, or that a beer party is going on in your pool and the pool is so filled with people that you cannot see its water surface. Our inclination is to block off the house for those dates, but we don't want to preclude nice families or well-behaved and well attended groups of kids having a nice break during the spring.

As with most situations, a few mistakes end up setting the threshhold for everyone else.

 

[Smiling JOe]

When you "get" kids?? Like a cold?? :funn: When you HAVE kids SJ
That said, I agree with you, there are 2 schools of thought, and I am with you, at some point you have to trust your kids to make good decisions, and they are going to do things sooner or later with out your permission, so if you help them and teach them early on, they will be prepared to make good choices and have the strength of their convictions (while still having funn)!

Not all kids are "had" by their parents. ;-) Some are adopted or fostered. ...and I think that only women "have" kids anyway. Men "get" kids. :funn:


...and Donna, for the reasons you state, if I owned a rental house, it would be "booked" by myself during Spring Break. I would rather have a house full of wild dogs.

 

[Jdarg]

Not all kids are "had" by their parents. ;-) Some are adopted or fostered. ...and I think that only women "have" kids anyway. Men "get" kids. :funn:

You are funny- but men "are" kids!


...and Donna, for the reasons you state, if I owned a rental house, it would be "booked" by myself during Spring Break. I would rather have a house full of wild dogs.

I have a couple dogs to contribute- what time can I drop them off?? Smiling JOe's Doggie SPring Break- "Dogs Gone Wild"...