Talk Deeply, Be Happy?

[futurebeachbum]

This article in the NYT blogs on how engaging in meaningful conversation improves happiness.

Would you be happier if you spent more time discussing the state of the world and the meaning of life ? and less time talking about the weather?

It may sound counterintuitive, but people who spend more of their day having deep discussions and less time engaging in small talk seem to be happier, said Matthias Mehl, a psychologist at the University of Arizona who published a study on the subject.

 

[Bob]

i swear it's been a wet spring

 

[Miss Critter]

Thanks for a thoughtful article, fbb. I was reading a few of the comments that followed discussing whether it was the conversation itself or the fact that that one tends to have meaningful conversaton only with those with whom they've already established a relationship, so maybe it's the relationships that lead to happiness. I tend to think it's both. I've had "meaningful" conversations with sowallers who I only know via this forum, and even that does lead, for me anyway, to a feeling of community. I believe, ultimately, that it's that feeling of community - of connectedness - that leads to happiness. On the other hand, I'd venture to guess that if the majority of one's meaningful conversations were with those with opposing viewpoints, frustration would be the prevailing emotion instead of happiness. I try to remain open-minded regarding viewpoints that differ from my own, and have learned quite a bit by doing so, but sometimes there comes a point where people just have to agree to disagree and move on.

Another major factor is the ubiquity of texting. I swear that my son's generation will kill the art of conversation; they communicate everything in shorthand via electronic screen. It's simply not possible to have any sort of "meaningful" discussion that way. I've been in the car with him where he's texting furiously back and forth with a friend, and I'll say, "For God's sake, son, just dial the d*mn phone and talk to the person!" To which he always replies, "Nobody does that, mom." The other reason it detracts from happiness is that it prevents living in the moment. On another thread, someone posted that 30A was full of teens walking absently into traffic as they're texting away. They're in the earthly version of paradise, for goodness' sake, and they can't take their eyes off their phones long enough to experience it first-hand! Thank God they have their camera phones to remind them of the very things they could've been enjoying IN THE MOMENT (which, by the way, is the only place happiness is found) if they'd stopped texting long enough to realize it.

Good food for thought. Thanks!
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Oh, and cheer up, bob.

 

[LuciferSam]

i swear it's been a wet spring

Come on Bob, aren't you intrigued by the possibility that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves?

 

[LuciferSam]

Come on Bob, aren't you intrigued by the possibility that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves?

Oh dear, so does that mean rain is in the forecast??;-)

 

[scooterbug44]

I have seen other studies w/ similar results - humans are social animals and we are healthier and happier when we have frequent physical and verbal contact with others.

Longer and more intense/personal conversations serve a dual purpose of making you feel connected/strengthening your relationship ties and making you feel loved/cared for because someone is paying attention to you.

This is also why effective salepeople make an effort to learn and remember details about their clients or to connect with them on a more personal level. The resulting emotional cues increase their sales.

 

[LuciferSam]

I have seen other studies w/ similar results - humans are social animals and we are healthier and happier when we have frequent physical and verbal contact with others.

Longer and more intense/personal conversations serve a dual purpose of making you feel connected/strengthening your relationship ties and making you feel loved/cared for because someone is paying attention to you.

This is also why effective salepeople make an effort to learn and remember details about their clients or to connect with them on a more personal level. The resulting emotional cues increase their sales.

I heard that.

 

[Bob]

Come on Bob, aren't you intrigued by the possibility that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves?

yes i am in tune with the deep space buzz

 

[Matt J]

Despite my shrill lisp I'm perfectly happy.

 

[Mango]

I wonder how they gauged happiness in their study, because sometimes I happiest when some people just STPU.