Rita
margarita brocolia
The following questions and answers were collated from the SAT tests
given to 16 years-old students. Don't laugh too hard -- one of them could
become president one day!
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to
drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
pollutants
like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
Q: What causes the tides in the ocean?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends
to
flow toward the moon because there is no water on the moon and nature
abhors
a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen).
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and
the
abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contain
heart
and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O
and
U.
Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.
Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
A: Most people prevent contraption by wearing a condominium.
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarian Section"
A: The caesarian section is a district in Rome.
Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman Emperor.
Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport.
Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like
umbrellas.
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an Arab wears on his head.
And just think, one day our Social Security payments will depend on
these
kids.
given to 16 years-old students. Don't laugh too hard -- one of them could
become president one day!
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to
drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
pollutants
like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
Q: What causes the tides in the ocean?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends
to
flow toward the moon because there is no water on the moon and nature
abhors
a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen).
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and
the
abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contain
heart
and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O
and
U.
Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.
Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
A: Most people prevent contraption by wearing a condominium.
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarian Section"
A: The caesarian section is a district in Rome.
Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman Emperor.
Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport.
Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like
umbrellas.
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an Arab wears on his head.
And just think, one day our Social Security payments will depend on
these
kids.
That said...there is something to be said for really working in school. I didn't really, but then again, I'm not a brain surgeon. And I'm fine with that. I had funn in my 5 years of college. I'd do it again and not change a thing. 