Tuesday Funny

[kathydwells]

Would you remarry?

A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks
over at him and asks the question....

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look)

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)

WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"

HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"

HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?"

HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."

WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."


WIFE: -- silence



HUSBAND: "sh**."

 

[Landlocked]

Ouch

 

[Miss Kitty]

Thank you Darlene...you are a FUNNy machine!!! We ALL needed that!!!

 

[Mermaid]

Three second delay and then I got it! LL is right. OUCH~

 

[kathydwells]

Thank you Darlene...you are a FUNNy machine!!! We ALL needed that!!!

Glad I could make you smile this morning. I haven't been able to catch up on all the happenings yet, but I did want to post this, 'cuz it made me laugh!

 

[Rita]

 

[dbuck]

I guess she asked for it.

 

[seagrovelover]

really cute Kathy :clap_1: :clap_1:

 

[Landlocked]

I'm sure y'all have heard this one but I had to share it.


I woke up early feeling a little depressed, because it was my birthday and I thought, "another year older," but decided to make the best of it. So I showered and shaved, knowing when I went down to breakfast my wife would greet me with a big kiss and say, "Happy Birthday, dear."

All smiles I went into breakfast and there sat my wife reading the newspaper as usual. She didn't say one word. So I got myself a cup of coffee and thought to myself, "oh well, she just forgot." The kids will be in a few minutes all cheers and they will sing Happy Birthday and have a nice gift for me.

There I sat, enjoying my coffee and I waited. Finally the kids came running in yelling, "Give me a slice of toast. I'm late. And where is my coat? I'm going to miss the bus!" Feeling more depressed than ever, I left for the office.

When I walked into the office my secretary greeted me with a nice smile and a "Happy Birthday, Boss" and said, "I'll get you some coffee." Her remembering made me feel a lot better. Later in the morning my secretary knocked on my door and said since it's your birthday, why don't we have lunch together. Thinking it would make me feel better I said that's a good idea.

So we locked up the office and since it was my birthday I said, "why don't we drive out of town and have lunch in the country instead of going to the usual place." So we drove out of town and went to a little out of the way place. We had a couple of martinis, a nice lunch, and started driving back to town when my secretary said, "why don't we go by my place and I will fix you another martini."

It sounded like a good idea since we didn't have anything to do in the office anyway. So we went to her apartment and she fixed us both a martini. After a while she said, "Will you excuse me, I think I will slip into something more comfortable," and left the room. In six minutes, she opened her bedroom door and came out carrying a big birthday cake. Following her were my wife and all my kids and there I sat, with nothing on but my socks.

 

[seagrovelover]

UH-OH....................