kathydwells
Darlene is my middle name, not my nickname
Grandma's Boyfriend
A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, "Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?"
Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The religious programs make me feel good and the comedies make me laugh. I'm happy with my TV as my boyfriend."
Grandma turned on the TV, and the reception was terrible. She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she started hitting the back side of the TV hoping to fix the problem.
The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door, and there stood Grandma's minister.
The minister said, "Hello son! Is your Grandma home?"
The little boy replied, "Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' her boyfriend." The minister fainted.
Little Johnny Stikes Again.
A grade school teacher in Kentucky asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, "My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."
The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word fascinate, not fascinating".
Sally raised her hand. She said, "My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated."
The teacher said, "Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word "fascinate."
Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before.
She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word fascinate", so she called on him.
He said, "My aunt Bessie has a sweater with ten buttons, but her boobs are so big she can only fasten eight."
The teacher cried.
A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, "Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?"
Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The religious programs make me feel good and the comedies make me laugh. I'm happy with my TV as my boyfriend."
Grandma turned on the TV, and the reception was terrible. She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she started hitting the back side of the TV hoping to fix the problem.
The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door, and there stood Grandma's minister.
The minister said, "Hello son! Is your Grandma home?"
The little boy replied, "Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' her boyfriend." The minister fainted.
Little Johnny Stikes Again.
A grade school teacher in Kentucky asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, "My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."
The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word fascinate, not fascinating".
Sally raised her hand. She said, "My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated."
The teacher said, "Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word "fascinate."
Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before.
She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word fascinate", so she called on him.
He said, "My aunt Bessie has a sweater with ten buttons, but her boobs are so big she can only fasten eight."
The teacher cried.
