What Would You Do?

[John R]

having lived the dark side of that story, i say press charges. everything said above is true. the kids may get cuffed and taken away(humiliating) and learn something(hopefully) the parents will probably be embarrassed being the talk of the neighborhood, and suitably pissed. and, guess who gets to take off from work to go sit in court with junior to deal?

 

[Mango]

People must learn to be held accountable for their actions. What if the next time, it is another teen's life who is damaged? How guilty will you feel then if you do nothing to correct the behavior? I think we sometimes have too much sympathy for criminals. This may be the case.

I would also like to add that your son busted his butt to do the right thing, going after them and getting the tag number as well as calling the Police. You should be proud of him and support the decision he made by following through with the prosecution of these kids. The behavior of the kids doesn't sound to uncommon, but maybe you can help get them back in line.

I agree. Sad though that these teenagers can't find anything better to do with their time, and the parents are not involved enough.
Teenagers don't realize how their actions now can possibly impact their lives at a later point. My brother-in-law is a lawyer and did something stupid when he was young. He wanted to run for a public office and couldn't because of it. The Governor would not also pardon the crime.

 

[Cil]

having lived the dark side of that story, i say press charges. everything said above is true. the kids may get cuffed and taken away(humiliating) and learn something(hopefully) the parents will probably be embarrassed being the talk of the neighborhood, and suitably pissed. and, guess who gets to take off from work to go sit in court with junior to deal?

Word up, John R. That's how it was for us.
He's a good kid now. But back in the day...

 

[Allifunn]

A very good thread! I am leaving for Atlanta now...and I am leaving on this good note, that your son did a good thing, was not hurt (thank God) , learned a lesson himself D ) and has helped to hopefully teach these teens a lesson. I do not think this will go on their permnanat record...why don't you find out from the police what the whole consequences are to these boys?

I feel good knowing that this board is so helpful to all those who partcipate!

 

[Sheila]

JR I have a son that is now 24. He has done his share of "knee jerk" stunts growing up. However, none of them were directed at purposely inflicting bodily harm to others. If you decide not to press charges, what do you think their next stunt will be? If they are not held accountable for this, wouldn't you worry about their next target? I applaude your son for his bravery. The message you send to both your son and the other young men involved will speak volumes. Good luck in your decision making process.

 

[Rudyjohn]

Don't be such a bleeding heart. Press charges against these teenagers. Your son is lucky in that he had only welts on his body. It could have been worse. What if they had caused him to fall off his bike into the path of an oncoming car? What if he'd been hit in the eye and suffered permanent blindness? Would you be worried then about those kids' future lives if your own son's future life was ruined? The kids "playing" this shooting game were not involved in a victimless crime. It was dangerous beyond words. Let them face the consequences for it.

I totally agree and I value your opinion.

My first thought after the concern of the possibility of ruining their lives (even tho they've done it to themselves) was the impact this could have on our own lives. I don't want to endanger my family or home, I don't want my son terriorized in school. The investigator said they're local so they go to the same high school.

So in all honesty, my true feelings do lie with my family and son's safety first. It's really a catch 22 in my opinion.

 

[Mermaid]

I have to be honest tho, when the police called and Mr. Johnrudy answered, they indentified themselves as, "This is the __________ Police Dept and we have your son ___________ here." (they took him in for his statement.) My husband's face drained of all color. The first thing you think is, he has been hurt, then, what did he do? I mean, you just never know. I am, of course, very happy and proud of him, after we found out!

I shouldn't laugh at that but I am! We got a similar phone call and I had the same reaction (we have a 19 year old son). Luckily, it was only the Police Benevolent Society wanting a donation. I was so relieved it wasn't a call about Alex getting into trouble that I gave them a generous gift.

 

[Mermaid]

I totally agree and I value your opinion.

My first thought after the concern of the possibility of ruining their lives (even tho they've done it to themselves) was the impact this could have on our own lives. I don't want to endanger my family or home, I don't want my son terriorized in school. The investigator said they're local so they go to the same high school.

So in all honesty, my true feelings do lie with my family and son's safety first. It's really a catch 22 in my opinion.

I really didn't mean to sound as harsh as I did but it infuriates me that we as a society coddle our children so much, even when they do very bad things. My first thought was that what happened to your son could easily have happened to my 17 year old daughter. She's always on her bicycle and we live in the city where there could easily be hooligans like the ones who took pot shots at your son and his friends. I'd have been heartbroken if my daughter came to harm like your son could have (one of those there-but-for-the-grace-of-god is what saved your boy, I'm sure). And yet you were thinking about possibly jepordizing scholarships...an admirable, charitable, and misplaced gesture on your part. It is a disservice NOT to punish, because it sends the message that there are no consequences. It also sends the more worrying message that good people like your family can be frightened into silence (I'm referring to what you said about those teens going to the same school as your son). This could make the teens who did this deed feel very powerful, which could lead them into even worse behavior...after all, if they weren't stopped when they were only "horsing around" what and who could stop them later on down the road?

JohnRudy, if your son hasn't already read Harper Lee's story "To Kill A Mockingbird," this could be an opportune moment. It's a powerful and appropriate story.

 

[lindatat]

Wow JR - I understand this dilemma more than you know. Something very similar happened to me & a friend as teenagers. My friend was the one who had to press charges (it was a road rage incident and the other driver got out of his car and came over to ours and just smashed her face into the steering wheel.) In the end, I think she regretted her decision, but only because this idiot got continuance after continuance, and each time my friend still had to take off work and go to court. One day she just quit going and I'm sure the guy got off. I agree that it is important to follow through so that your son sees that you are doing the right thing - just hope it doesn't drag on and that there is some sort of quick resolution (like a plea to a lesser charge - maybe something just enough to scare these kids into accepting the consequences of their actions, and without totally disrupting your lives.)

 

[Smiling JOe]

I totally agree and I value your opinion.

My first thought after the concern of the possibility of ruining their lives (even tho they've done it to themselves) was the impact this could have on our own lives. I don't want to endanger my family or home, I don't want my son terriorized in school. The investigator said they're local so they go to the same high school.

So in all honesty, my true feelings do lie with my family and son's safety first. It's really a catch 22 in my opinion.

If you don't stand up to these kids, your son will be terriorized in school. The other kids will know to pick on your kid because his parents are too nice to press charges. IMHO, this is an easy decision regarding morals.

It matters not what consequences the other kids might suffer because it was their actions, not yours, which put them in this situation. So let's forget about what might happen to them.

Growing up, I could have easily been grouped in with the kids who shot the air pistol at your son, and a good spanking or juvee jail would have yanked me around very quickly. These kids are begging for discipline of some sort. Today, it is airguns, tomorrow it may be bottlerockets, and in a year or two, who knows, it could be powerful guns which shoot real bullets. I turned out okay, even though I was never really busted for anything growing up. I had other friends who were busted for many serious crimes, and that didn't stop them from receiving scholarships, and one even became valedictorian (heck, I cannot even spell it correctly) of high school and the college which he attended. In fact, getting caught probably straightened him out to be a better citizen.