What Would You Do?

[Beach Runner]

I totally agree and I value your opinion.

My first thought after the concern of the possibility of ruining their lives (even tho they've done it to themselves) was the impact this could have on our own lives. I don't want to endanger my family or home, I don't want my son terriorized in school. The investigator said they're local so they go to the same high school.

So in all honesty, my true feelings do lie with my family and son's safety first. It's really a catch 22 in my opinion.

That's a tough one. A real moral dilemma.

I'll have to say that I'd want to protect my child against negative repercussions from pressing charges.

I was in a similar (but not so severe) situation in May. Three days before the final exam, one of my daughter's professors sent out an email to the entire class that said, "Zero percent of you will make an A or a B on the exam, and only a third of you will pass." How about that for threatening and stressing out kids who are already stressed out about exams? I really wanted to report him to his department chair, but decided against it due to fear of negative repercussions for my daughter. As my colleagues agreed, if one of us had sent out an email like that to our students, we would have been fired, regardless of having tenure.

But after she graduates ...

 

[ktmeadows]

I totally agree and I value your opinion.

My first thought after the concern of the possibility of ruining their lives (even tho they've done it to themselves) was the impact this could have on our own lives. I don't want to endanger my family or home, I don't want my son terriorized in school. The investigator said they're local so they go to the same high school.

So in all honesty, my true feelings do lie with my family and son's safety first. It's really a catch 22 in my opinion.

I would think that it would be less safe NOT to press charges. Chances are that if your son saw their faces, they also saw his. If you don't press charges, they'll think they got away with something and will continue. I wouldn't hesitate to get these delinquents the punishment they deserve. They'd be crazy to mess with your son or your family after serving their sentences or whatever form of punishment they'd get. Chances are they'll be on probation for at least a couple of years. If you do nothing at all, they may think you guys wimped out, and will continue doing possibly even worse things under the assumption that others won't press charges either.

I know this is a difficult decision for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you ponder this situation. Kudos to your son for not being afraid to do the right thing! :clap_1:

 

[Ocean Lover]

That's a tough one. A real moral dilemma.

I'll have to say that I'd want to protect my child against negative repercussions from pressing charges.

I was in a similar (but not so severe) situation in May. Three days before the final exam, one of my daughter's professors sent out an email to the entire class that said, "Zero percent of you will make an A or a B on the exam, and only a third of you will pass." How about that for threatening and stressing out kids who are already stressed out about exams? I really wanted to report him to his department chair, but decided against it due to fear of negative repercussions for my daughter. As my colleagues agreed, if one of us had sent out an email like that to our students, we would have been fired, regardless of having tenure.

But after she graduates ...

BR, write the letter now and save it.

 

[audie]

my first thoughts as i was reading of this was worrying about retaliation on your family. punks like this make me soo angry, and our area is getting full of them. it's scary when decent hard-working people are not free to even go to the grocery store in safety. good luck to you and your family no matter what you decide, it's a tuffy, but i would lean towards prosecuting, just my opinion..

 

[Ocean Lover]

I would think that it would be less safe NOT to press charges. Chances are that if your son saw their faces, they also saw his. If you don't press charges, they'll think they got away with something and will continue. I wouldn't hesitate to get these delinquents the punishment they deserve. They'd be crazy to mess with your son or your family after serving their sentences or whatever form of punishment they'd get. Chances are they'll be on probation for at least a couple of years. If you do nothing at all, they may think you guys wimped out, and will continue doing possibly even worse things under the assumption that others won't press charges either.

I know this is a difficult decision for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you ponder this situation. Kudos to your son for not being afraid to do the right thing! :clap_1:

It's really nice to have Sowal as a sounding board. I agree with the above post. I don't envy your position JR. I'm really glad your son didn't get hurt and I admire him for his actions.

 

[aquaticbiology]

i wouldn't press charges - i'd get their addresses from the cops and march right up to their house and speak to their parents about it and threaten a civil suit for damages! works every time!

 

[KISH7374]

In my opinion you should press charges. What would have happened if it were not a paint gun? What if it were a real gun? You should go forward and then also notify the school of the incident and the consequences and let them know that you are worried about your son being terrorized in school and leave that part of it in their hands. If you do not follow through with pressing charges it opens the avenue for thes boys to escelate their doings and really injure some innocent person. I know hindsight is 20-20 but could you live with knowledge that these boys injured someone seriously and you could have prevented it? I have raised my 3 sons to be responsible young men. I always taught them that if they ever got into trouble the results of their actions would be with them for life and any punishment they got colud never match what they got from me. I did not raise them to be afraid of me but they understood that I was serious. I think that is most of the problem with the problem kids of today, they have no discipline and do not have to worry about their actions. Go forward with pressing the charges and I think you just might turn around one of their lives and you will feel better about it.

 

[peapod1980]

i wouldn't press charges - i'd get their addresses from the cops and march right up to their house and speak to their parents about it and threaten a civil suit for damages! works every time!

Don't count on it. We now live in a society made up of "my little darlings;" I'm constantly amazed by parents who defend their children's actions even when (seemingly) obviously wrong. Wouldn't surprise me if trying this approach resulted in JR's getting doors slammed in her face, sadly.

 

[Beachlover2]

I agree with PeaPod here - Sadly, my sister would be the first to defend her little darling.

It is a tough one JR - but I am sure you and your family will do what is right - you have to live with your decisions - none of the rest of us do.

I have a moral issue happening in my extended family right now and have be wrestling with it for sometime - no one can make these decisions for you.

 

[TooFarTampa]

I agree with luvthebeach, SJ and others. Press charges. Your son will be proud of you for following through with what you have always told him -- "Do the right thing." He will remember the lesson, and he will I'm sure pass the same on to his kids. This is easy for me to say because he is NOT my son, and my sons are so little that they are well under my wing and protected at all times, but I think your son sounds like a tough kid who can handle whatever comes his way at school. You have taught him some wonderful lessons. He is absorbing them. That is awesome. :clap_1:

The story reminds me a little bit of my neighbors' daughter, one of our babysitters. She is 18 and just graduated high school. Their dog was dying verrry slowly of lung cancer. They were afraid to do anything about it. She finally sat her parents down and told them it was time to put the dog down. They were surprised. I wasn't -- she is a smart kid! They wanted to protect her, though, from the dog's death and had those "protective parents" blinders on. I can't imagine how hard it is to remove those blinders because I am not there yet. But it has to be done eventually. It takes so much courage to be the parent of a teenager, I hope I have it when the time comes!

Good luck and keep us posted JR ...