johnrudy, seems like there's more he could do around the house to earn some dough. washing/cleaning the inside of the cars weekly, mowing, snow removal. the payment of a specific amount at the beginning of the month is a great idea, and should come with some lessons regarding a budget, breaking it down to $$/day available. this way he knows what he needs to do if a big social event is coming up. it will probably help him with developing a budget for his time also. if someone wants money hard enough, they'll finsd a way to attain it.
mermaid, who pays for your daughter's cell phone usage? she seems like a pretty heavy user. posing the question: is a cell phone a parent's responsibility?
Wow, $50 a WEEK is indeed a lot of money. Must be some fancy lunches! ;-)I think the $50/week is MORE than generous (I'm thinking less in fact!) & should cover his school lunches too. :
We aren't doing the $50 a week. That was sort of an arbitrary amount. We do think $20/week for school lunches and snacks. He's there some days until dinnertime. But we have yet to come up with an amount for additional $$. And yes, we do give him $$ for his entertainment and he does do weekly chores at home.Wow, $50 a WEEK is indeed a lot of money. Must be some fancy lunches! ;-)
We didn't have any problem giving out $50-$60 a month; it was good for the guys to have to make it last and actually learn some money management skills.
Once they got jobs, they no longer got the pocket money.
And of course, since then, the older kid has had to learn about paying rent and buying groceries.
As for cell phones, we paid for the older one's first one; he got it sophomore year of high school. It was on my husband's plan.
I have never owned a cellphone but I liked my kids having them.
We continued to pay for the older son's phone through college. After that he was on his own (got some funky little French cell--it's cheaper over there.) And now that he's back, he'll need to figure out that one on his own.
Younger one damaged his and has to wait awhile for another.
mermaid, who pays for your daughter's cell phone usage? she seems like a pretty heavy user. posing the question: is a cell phone a parent's responsibility?
oh god, i had to help mow the 1 1/2 acres my parents have - i got the funn job of trimming around all of mom's flower beds, trees, etc. i swore once i left i would never mow again and i haven't !
the pool and the wood I didnt mind but I hated mowing the lawn. My wife gets mad at me but I pay someone to mow now.
I have not cut my own grass in 10 years. When I was dating my wife
I cut hers a few times but that got old quick. Hmmmm.... never asked. Knew the answer already. I was a supremo babysitter! Saved my $$$$$. Got a job when I was 16. Retired from that company when I was older than dirt.
When my 2 asked for $$$$ for breakfast out. Response was, "what's wrong with the breakfast we have here?"
If they required something different. Answer was, " get a job and save your $$$$."
Sometimes, they were hungry. Their choice. Not ours. Wethem. They have survived.
Stay strong, this too shall pass. ;-)
Thank you. I'm sure I did ease up on him this summer and hand out $$ a little too freely w/o realilizing it immediately. He wasn't working in a paying job this summer but he did, by his own choice, take 2 semesters of geometry in summer school to be able to take advanced algebra in school this year. This was 7 weeks of geometry, 5 hours a day. So yes, I did hand him $$ for lunches out with friends before his other "commitments" (band camp, driver's ed.) kicked in in the afternoons & evenings. So in some ways, he's already working.Johnrudy I hope we've not overwhelmed you with all this advice. I do think this board is a wonderful asset and it seems there are many wonderful parents here. I had to always remind myself to change my parenting as my kids grew. What one does with a 3 year old as a parent is different than the 10 year old and again different for the 15 year old. At this point try to look ahead...what you do for him today will affect you (and him) in 5 years.
He sounds like a great kid. I love that he's busy, my kids always did well when they were busy. Let me say that I strongly encouraged mine to work, especially in the summer. However during school months, I made them reduce their work schedule. They couldn't work late any night during the week but rather needed a job that would use them heavily on weekends. School and their grades came first. This meant they worked harder during the summer and saved extra to get them through the winter. They were little squirrels. When they were driving they paid for their own gas and insurance this way.
Your posts about him clearly show a fine young man, he's like all of us, a work in progress. Stay strong y'all get there.