College Kid Grades Make Me Steam!

[Mermaid]

I need to hear from those of you with college age kids. I need some encouragement. My son's grades came today and he flunked two courses! One of them was chemistry, about which I am most sympathetic since I did the same in my college days, :roll: but the other was programming, which should have been a no-brainer for the boy.

Is this normal? Did your kids have a rough time their 1st semester in college? Is there hope for the Mer-boy? He's a bright kid so that's not the problem, and he likes his college well enough.

Is it the adjustment to college life that contributed to these loser grades? So maybe it's a one-shot 1st semester only kind of wipeout? (Please please)

And another thing--what is all this business about it taking 5 years to get a bachelor's degree? I did mine in four. So did all my friends. But now they seem to want kids to stay for 5? Is this a new trend?

 

[Miss Kitty]

Drat and Poot....Give him this one semester, that's fair to allow for adjustments from home. I know you want to smack him...what says the boy? He must have known things weren't going well...if he is like MS, he REFUSES to ask for help!!! Most kids we know get out in four years. Sometimes at the larger univ. getting in the courses you need is tough. Some parents I know, tell their kids that they will pay for four years and then the kid is on their own! Hang in there!

EDIT: Privacy laws...MS would have killed me!!

 

[iwishiwasthere]

Yes, our daughter got her grades yesterday..2 Bs and a C and a C-. Not thrilled as parents but gave her this as a trial. Her school is small and academically tough, 90% of the students were in the top 10% of their hs class. First semester is a HUGE adjustment, and it takes time to know what teachers are better than others. I am sure your son learned a lot, but it does notshow grade wise. Give him the second chance and he will do better. My gull is concerned about losing scholarship$$$$ so next semester should be better.

As for 5 years, that happens a lot at state schools due to overcrowded classes. I know of many students who tried to get out in 4 years, but were unable to get the classes they needed.

We can only afford 4 years at the price we are paying, so she has NO option but to finish or pay 4 it herself. Her college has a graduation rate of 92% so they work with the students to succeed.

Try to be supportive and be firm.....not an easy task.

Oh, our oldest child had great grades the first semester but went down after that....really frustrating.

 

[audie]

i had a terrible time my first semester at butler, i had breezed thru high school, had classes at iu east which were a joke, then when i got to butler, found out these people are serious about education. i actually had to learn how to study, and it was a very rude awakening. maybe that's what happened with your son ?

 

[Mermaid]

I'm sitting at the keyboard overhearing Alex tell his father WHY he got two Fs. I think Merman is going to need a beer after this! And I have the feeling that Alex won't be bringing home these kind of marks again.

I'm glad for the feedback--I think you're all on track about the adjustment bit AND the need to learn how to study. I've told Alex that he's going to have to get into one of those study programs that teaches the kids how to do it.

If only you could see my boy now! The look on his face...

 

[iwishiwasthere]

HOw bad will his Christmas break be???

 

[Mermaid]

HOw bad will his Christmas break be???

I think college has already done Alex some good (even if we're not talking about his grades :roll: ). He owned to up to it instead of trying to place the blame on bad professors or a bad schedule. That worked wonders in placating his father. That and the promise NOT to do it again.

 

[Smiling JOe]

Mermaid, my first year in college was by far the easiest and my best. In high school, I was always playing sports as well as doing so much other stuff, that I had very little time to study. When I went to college, I found it very easy to go to class for 4 hours a day, and I still had plenty of time to study daily. In fact, I had so much extra time, even playing basketball 2-3 hours per day, that I also worked a part time job for 4 hours per day. It seemed so much easier than high school because I had so much time on my hands that studying was easy to fit into my schedule. Unfortunately, I soon discovered the bars and the ladies, and met plenty of friends, all of which I had to work into my schedule. I never struggled through college, but I did learn to work a little fun into the school part.

I have seen many people get away from home for the first time in their life and they screw it up for the worse. They don't set goals, nor budget their time for school. School is always an option if it works into their scedule. "Oh, it looks like rain is falling. I think I will stay home today."

Let your son know that you love him and that you want him to succeed in life, no matter his interpretation of "success." College will expose him to many of life's possibilities if he will keep an open mind. He may not give a crap about Chemistry at the present time, but something involving chemistry may become his third career choice. College life will also shape his life, and he has the choice to be who he wants to be. Ask him to think about the person he wants to be, and encourage him to begin building and shaping himself into that person.

You and Merman can give him some strength, but he is the one that will have to shape himself. Show him that you love him and share your concern for his struggle.

 

[Mermaid]

SJ, one of these days you will make some lucky child a fine father. You manage to be eloquent--as always--but also sensible and compassionate. :clap_1:

It is a little hard to deal with the bad grades when you know there's a good mind upstairs that's not being entirely utilized! I do appreciate the encouragement and hang-with-it-ness of everyone here.

 

[Cap'nCrazy]

Motivation is certainly the key. Before I met Gypsea my Sophomore year, I was struggling just to get C's, and had my share of D's, and one F after 10/100 on the final exam (I fell asleep and only completed one question out of ten....I got that one right. All this after a party weekend). After I found out she was an A student, I was embarassed that I was not cutting it and I started working much harder, resulting in good grades, graduation, graduate school, etc.

One thing for your son to think about. When I taught college a few years back, the only folks that got F's in my classes were those that either a) did not show up, or b) did not turn in their work. He can fix those problems with motivation. I'd feel worse if he were busting his butt and still getting D's.

Both my kids took 5 years to get their Bachelor's degrees. One because of playing varsity sports, and the other due to 2 major changes (be prepared for that). It's not so bad when the coach pays for it, but it can hit the ole pocketbook hard if they're not on a full ride.

Hang in there. They turn out fine with your continued love and encouragement.