Dear Abby.........

[DD]

What do you mean about her being shocked? As in, no one's ever told her before that she's rude when she blows her friends off?

exactly.

 

[Mermaid]

Well, she mustn't be that bad if you think she has the good manners to apologise. Maybe you'll be doing everyone a public service by calling her on the carpet. And maybe someone should have done it a long time ago!

 

[DD]

Well, she mustn't be that bad if you think she has the good manners to apologise. Maybe you'll be doing everyone a public service by calling her on the carpet. And maybe someone should have done it a long time ago!

I think you're right mer. she's really a sweet girl, but for this one area. so...i'm gonna do it. like i said, i'll let you know how it turns out....wish me luck.

 

[Mermaid]

I think you're right mer. she's really a sweet girl, but for this one area. so...i'm gonna do it. like i said, i'll let you know how it turns out....wish me luck.

Her return e-mail to you will tell all. Good luck!

 

[DD]

Her return e-mail to you will tell all. Good luck!

Thanks dear, for all your wise words!

 

[lindatat]

My two cents - I'd be pissed. My best friend and I have a hell of a time getting together with little kids and trying to juggle our part-time jobs that have somehow become full time jobs. We live 20 miles apart - work 1 mile apart and we get to see each other about 3 times a year. And while she can be horribly unreliable and call me at the last minute to say she can't meet me for dinner, it's almost always because of a family or work situation and I totally understand. But if she called me and said I can't meet you, even though I know you drove 60 miles and rarely get to see each other...but I'm too busy SHOPPING?

Definitely let her know you're mad and why - and don't meet her in Fort Worth. Let her make all the effort this time.

 

[DD]

you're right. i guess i would have understood more if I hadn't known she was on vacation and could have planned her shopping a little better. i know how crazy i am at christmas, but....well, like i said, she had a week's notice.

 

[dbuck]

DD, I have been mulling this over in my mind for the last couple of hours. Friends are precious, especially from your childhood. I'm with Mer on this. You obviously don't want the friendship to be over or you wouldn't be worried about it. I would meet her, but I would also tell her how you feel about the way things turned out the last time, you need to get it off your chest and she needs to hear it, then it's in her court. She needs to understand that she may treat others that way, but it's not going to fly with you. It's amazing how much backbone we developed as we get older. :clap_1: You are worth more than what she gave on your "scheduled" get together.

 

[flowergirl40pc]

You mentioned that she uses hubby as an "excuse", I'm no expert in the field, but sounds like she may be co-dependant, if her actions were like that after she got married, guess I am some sort of an expert, have been co-dependant in the past.......with a man, and pushed all my friends to the side , doing what HE wants to do. But today.............nope, friends and family come first (within reason).....somehow just let her know how her actions have hurt you, because I'm sure all this BS isn't bothering her one bit.IF she really wants to have lunch with you and continue your relationship.........let her come to YOU, then you'll see how bad she wants your friendship........just my opinion for what it's worth, after all I'm just the newbie here

 

[John R]

i'm with dbuck on this, you need to tell her how you feel, face to face, at the lunch meeting. this can't be properly handled via email. and, don't take her presents, if things go badly, you'll just be pissed at yourself for taking them up. if things go well, and she takes your feelings to heart, she initiate another meeting and you can take them then. good luck, sucks losing a friend over bad manners.