Dear Abby.........

[DD]

Thanks all.......I've gotten some good advice here. I think I told Mermaid that I'm usually the one giving advice to others, but I was just so mad for so long over this and the fact that she doesn't even have a clue made me even madder. Anyhoo, I appreciate all your suggestions, and I will meet her and very sweetly tell her how I feel. (No presents, either, JR--heck I gave them to someone else more deserving! and it was two less gifts I had to buy at Christmas!! )

 

[Oldtimer]

Just my 2 cents....but sometimes friendship just changes and is not what is was at an earlier time. Circumstances in ones lives change and our priorities are not what they once were. This is not necessarily a bad thing, just part of Life.

Remember the good times and learn from the relationship that you once had. In my opinion, a relationship that requires excessive strain, toil and worry is not a mutually healthy relationship. Real friends can be honest, understanding and considerate just because that's what they do...no effort or work.

Now, don't get me wrong I have some life long friends that I may not see nearly as often as I'd like, but they have always been the same kind of person year after year. I can pick up the phone and be right back to wherever we left off the last time. I also have a few folks that I once considered "friends", but over the years I have realized they were just passing through my life, not really staying forever. They added to my life at the time (hopefully I added something good to theirs, too), but in the end I probably wouldn't count them among my true "FRIENDS".

Maybe that would be a good thread .... "FRIENDS FOR LIFE?"

Now, for my advice....just do what you are totally comfortable with, but remember you can't make a person conform to your requirements. My mom's best advise has always been, "Just do the right thing and be nice."

 

[Allifunn]

Just my 2 cents....but sometimes friendship just changes and is not what is was at an earlier time. Circumstances in ones lives change and our priorities are not what they once were. This is not necessarily a bad thing, just part of Life.

Remember the good times and learn from the relationship that you once had. In my opinion, a relationship that requires excessive strain, toil and worry is not a mutually healthy relationship. Real friends can be honest, understanding and considerate just because that's what they do...no effort or work.

Now, don't get me wrong I have some life long friends that I may not see nearly as often as I'd like, but they have always been the same kind of person year after year. I can pick up the phone and be right back to wherever we left off the last time. I also have a few folks that I once considered "friends", but over the years I have realized they were just passing through my life, not really staying forever. They added to my life at the time (hopefully I added something good to theirs, too), but in the end I probably wouldn't count them among my true "FRIENDS".

Maybe that would be a good thread .... "FRIENDS FOR LIFE?"

Now, for my advice....just do what you are totally comfortable with, but remember you can't make a person conform to your requirements. My mom's best advise has always been, "Just do the right thing and be nice."

:clap_1: :clap_1: :clap_1: "nicely put"

 

[Rudyjohn]

Just my 2 cents....but sometimes friendship just changes and is not what is was at an earlier time. Circumstances in ones lives change and our priorities are not what they once were. This is not necessarily a bad thing, just part of Life.

Remember the good times and learn from the relationship that you once had. In my opinion, a relationship that requires excessive strain, toil and worry is not a mutually healthy relationship. Real friends can be honest, understanding and considerate just because that's what they do...no effort or work.

Now, don't get me wrong I have some life long friends that I may not see nearly as often as I'd like, but they have always been the same kind of person year after year. I can pick up the phone and be right back to wherever we left off the last time. I also have a few folks that I once considered "friends", but over the years I have realized they were just passing through my life, not really staying forever. They added to my life at the time (hopefully I added something good to theirs, too), but in the end I probably wouldn't count them among my true "FRIENDS".

Maybe that would be a good thread .... "FRIENDS FOR LIFE?"

Now, for my advice....just do what you are totally comfortable with, but remember you can't make a person conform to your requirements. My mom's best advise has always been, "Just do the right thing and be nice."

I couldn't agree more & you beat me to it.

You know, we always want what we used to have - - the way things used to be. And in some ways, I believe you've "outgrown" your friendship with her. Obviously very different priorities.

And I'd be very careful telling her how disappointed you've been in her, because she will not see it that way. You'll probably end up more frustrated than you already are.

There's nothing wrong with slowly ending a past relationship and moving on. Don't feel guilty. Cherish the good, funn times and don't let the frustration and disappointment continue to deteriorate the memories.

 

[DD]

Thanks, all! Will keep you advised of the result.

 

[Mango]

DD, I agree with Oldtimer too. Well said. Friendships change over the years and just tell her how you feel and if she really wants to maintain the friendship, she will drive the 60 miles to see you.

BTW- if you drove 60 miles to see me, I would have made sure I was home from shopping and had a present for you too.

Invite her down to lunch and make some Spam only kidding!

 

[DD]

DD, I agree with Oldtimer too. Well said. Friendships change over the years and just tell her how you feel and if she really wants to maintain the friendship, she will drive the 60 miles to see you.

BTW- if you drove 60 miles to see me, I would have made sure I was home from shopping and had a present for you too.

Invite her down to lunch and make some Spam only kidding!

Awwww, thanks, Mango!!

 

[kathydwells]

I posted this a while back, but I think it is worth revisiting especially here in this thread. Good Luck with friend DD, it will work out the way it is supposed to.


PEOPLE COME INTO YOUR LIFE FOR A REASON

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a reason, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a season, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season!

Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

 

[DD]

I posted this a while back, but I think it is worth revisiting especially here in this thread. Good Luck with friend DD, it will work out the way it is supposed to.


PEOPLE COME INTO YOUR LIFE FOR A REASON

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a reason, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a season, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season!

Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

Thanks, Darlene! Very timely. ;-)

 

[Cheering472]

Sorry I missed this thread this weekend. (Just back from Memphis and catching up) Ok I would certainly talk to her, she needs to know your feelings. You have nothing to lose by trying. The ball is in her court then. If she fails to respond to this in true friendship, then it may be best to leave it alone. You shouldn't have to do all the work in any relationship. I hope she is able to see what a good friend she has in you and how very lucky she is for it. But if she is unable to, that is her shortcoming and not yours. It is also her loss, that she will certainly regret one day. Hope it works out for you.