Friday Funnies

[kathydwells]

A female, rookie cop pulls over a guy for speeding.

She realizes the guy is drunk and begins the arrest.

She reads him his rights..."You have the right to remain

silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you."


The man starts screaming...."Boobs!!!"

___________________________________________________

A man went into a bar and ordered several shots of vodka. By the time the bar was closing, he was wasted. He got up to leave and fell flat on his face. "Well, I don't want the bartender to think I'm drunk, so I'll pretend I tripped and I'll try it again." So he gets up and falls on his face. "Well, the door's not too far away; I'll just crawl." When he gets outside he thinks, "Well, I only live 4 blocks away; I can make it that far." So he stands up and falls on his face. He decides he'll try it 1 block at a time, and at every block he falls flat on his face. Finally he makes it home, stands up and falls on the bed. In the morning his wife wakes him up. "You were drunk again last night, weren't you?" "How did you know?" "The bartender called. He said you left your wheelchair at the bar."

 

[whiteyfunn]

 

[seagrovelover]

someone said "boobs" OTTER??? OTTER??? hee hee

 

[skippertoo]

 

[kathydwells]

Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table, he looks into his small bowl. It is empty. "Who's been eating my porridge?!!" he squeaks.

Papa Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl, and it is also empty. "Who's been eating my Porridge?!!" he roars.

Momma Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells, "How many times do we have to go through this with you idiots?

It was Momma Bear who got up first, it was Momma Bear who woke everyone in the house, it was Momma Bear who made the coffee, it was Momma Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night, and put everything away, it was Momma Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper, it was Momma Bear who set the da%# table, it was Momma Bear who put the friggin cat out, cleaned the litter box, and filled the cat's water and food dish, and, now that you've decided to drag your sorry bear-ass$$ downstairs, and grace Momma Bear's kitchen with your grumpy presence, listen good, cause I'm only going to say this one more time...

"I HAVEN'T MADE THE DA%# PORRIDGE YET !!

 

[Rita]

:funn:

 

[BigR]

Ole Miss v Alabama update:

"Anthrax scare for the University of Mississippi"

Ole Miss football practice was delayed nearly two hours
today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery
substance on the practice field.
Head Coach Ed Orgeron immediately suspended practice while
police and federal investigators were called to investigate. After a
complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that the white
substance unknown to the players was the goal line.
Practice was resumed after special agents decided the team
was unlikely to encounter the substance again.

 

[CastlesOfSand]

LOL, love the Friday funnies!!!! Hey, Otter didn't reply to the "Boobs" call!!! YET!!!

 

[Beach Runner]

Question: How do ghosts dance?

 

[Sheila]

LOL, love the Friday funnies!!!! Hey, Otter didn't reply to the "Boobs" call!!! YET!!!

Talked to Mr Otter earlier, gave him the 411 on a B-sitter. He a GB may be dune watching in GB tonite! We are all on full moon alert here in SoWal. ;-)

Have Cheezit's, and libations on hand just in case! Will provide a full detailed report at a later time!