FuBar-funn
Beach Lover
whitesands said:
You are not old and out of it. People need to learn manners. I completely agree with you!! :clap_1:
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I'm a northerner...but what would you do?
- Thread starter whitesands
- Start date
You are not old and out of it. People need to learn manners. I completely agree with you!! :clap_1:
MKH
Beach Fanatic
Donna, I loved your story! That's priceless, and I hope you always remember that you did that-it's great.
White Sands, why don't you take all the effort, time and considerable money you spend on this party each year and go on a vacation with your son and his family-to Sowal, no doubt. Since he is 35 years old, maybe it's time he picked up the tradition started so considerately by you and start to be the host of the family reunion. If he wants to.
And I could go on and on about my own stories like this. I never cease to 'underwhelmed' by people's manners and social graces, or lack thereof. Family, friends, acquaintenances, it doesn't matter who. My own wedding reception turned into such an odyssey-we got married in Maui, just the 2 of us, but we decided to have a reception back here in Memphis to get together with both our families and friends and mark the occasion. Baaddd decision-I should have stuck with the wedding in Maui and stopped there....
Next time, I will.:roll:
White Sands, why don't you take all the effort, time and considerable money you spend on this party each year and go on a vacation with your son and his family-to Sowal, no doubt. Since he is 35 years old, maybe it's time he picked up the tradition started so considerately by you and start to be the host of the family reunion. If he wants to.
And I could go on and on about my own stories like this. I never cease to 'underwhelmed' by people's manners and social graces, or lack thereof. Family, friends, acquaintenances, it doesn't matter who. My own wedding reception turned into such an odyssey-we got married in Maui, just the 2 of us, but we decided to have a reception back here in Memphis to get together with both our families and friends and mark the occasion. Baaddd decision-I should have stuck with the wedding in Maui and stopped there....
Next time, I will.:roll:
InletBchDweller
SoWal Insider
My mom and I have been planning our family reunion for this upcoming summer. We have had a really bad response...it is frustrating when you put alot of work into it and nobody cares enough to call....
I would rather call the whole thing off and just enjoy Colorado and not the relatives that do not give a *&%^& anyway....
I would rather call the whole thing off and just enjoy Colorado and not the relatives that do not give a *&%^& anyway....whitesands
Beach Lover
Well, this has certainly be an eye-opening experience for me. I'm glad (is that really right? lolol) to hear that it's not just the younger people who don't respond. Very frustrating to be sure.
MKH, interesting you should mention that. Earlier this year we approached our son and daughter-in-law with an e-mailed invitation to join us for a week/ten days, whatever they could manage at the beach. I set out a "for instance" flight itinerary. Rather than phone with our invitation, I wanted to give them time to digest our proposal. We would supply the airfare and rent the things the children would need. After waiting a day and wondering why we hadn't received a phone call, we received an e-mailed response...very eloquent, caring and kind rejection of our invitation...they were going to Paris for a week and couldn't fit in two vacations so close together due to their jobs. When I spoke with my son later that day, he was very apologetic about the e-mail. He said he didn't want to speak to us directly at that moment, but wanted to take the time to respond fully to our extremely generous (his words) offer. After my initial concern, I must admit we really appreciated his sensitivity. I think, perhaps, we are very spoiled.
I think you're right too about passing the torch. I'll speak to Michael about it and get his views.
MKH, interesting you should mention that. Earlier this year we approached our son and daughter-in-law with an e-mailed invitation to join us for a week/ten days, whatever they could manage at the beach. I set out a "for instance" flight itinerary. Rather than phone with our invitation, I wanted to give them time to digest our proposal. We would supply the airfare and rent the things the children would need. After waiting a day and wondering why we hadn't received a phone call, we received an e-mailed response...very eloquent, caring and kind rejection of our invitation...they were going to Paris for a week and couldn't fit in two vacations so close together due to their jobs. When I spoke with my son later that day, he was very apologetic about the e-mail. He said he didn't want to speak to us directly at that moment, but wanted to take the time to respond fully to our extremely generous (his words) offer. After my initial concern, I must admit we really appreciated his sensitivity. I think, perhaps, we are very spoiled.
I think you're right too about passing the torch. I'll speak to Michael about it and get his views.
whitesands
Beach Lover
Unplugged said:
You know, Unplugged, I've often thought this too, if you mean what I am drawing from your post. How many times do you entertain the same people with never an invitation back? I don't mean from the nieces/nephews and such. I'm talking about friends/peers. We finally just dropped certain people from some of our gatherings. It's not a "tit for tat" situation with us. We do feel though that if it only goes one way, it can become tiresome and tedious.
amylouky
Beach Lover
That sounds fun! How do I become a member of your family?
Seriously, though.. did you send out written invitations? If so, did you specifically request an RSVP, with the number/address, and give a date by which to respond? Sadly, for some people that's what it takes, and for some that's not even enough.
It sounds like people who have been coming to this party every year for 20 years assume that you already know they will be there. I didn't RSVP to my sister's wedding, since I was in the bridal party..
Seriously, though.. did you send out written invitations? If so, did you specifically request an RSVP, with the number/address, and give a date by which to respond? Sadly, for some people that's what it takes, and for some that's not even enough.
It sounds like people who have been coming to this party every year for 20 years assume that you already know they will be there. I didn't RSVP to my sister's wedding, since I was in the bridal party..
What's even worse than overlooked RSVPs is a lack of response on a gift. It drives me nuts, because I sometimes don't even know whether they received it or not. I once waited over a year to find out whether a cousin had received a wedding gift of an entire setting of her sterling silver flatware! (And then I suspect that her mother ended up writing the note.) I have stopped sending gifts to family members who never can be bothered to send the simplest "thank you" or phone, under the assumption that the gift couldn't have meant much to them. I don't hold it against them, but save my energy.
When we were little, my mother would make us write "thank you" notes (or pictures) by the time we could write our names. In fact, the house rule was that you could not play with it, wear it, eat it, or spend it until after the note was written. We did have a few obstinant temper tantrums that resulted in items returned, which elicited tantrum #2. I thought it was a cruel rule then, but feel very differently now. When the children are not properly socialized, people in helpful places believe them to suffer from a lack of breeding. Not good for baby's future!
When we were little, my mother would make us write "thank you" notes (or pictures) by the time we could write our names. In fact, the house rule was that you could not play with it, wear it, eat it, or spend it until after the note was written. We did have a few obstinant temper tantrums that resulted in items returned, which elicited tantrum #2. I thought it was a cruel rule then, but feel very differently now. When the children are not properly socialized, people in helpful places believe them to suffer from a lack of breeding. Not good for baby's future!
Unplugged
Beach Fanatic
OMG Donna - my Mother did the same thing with us!! ...and it has stuck with us - to this day, I and my siblings are diligent about our thank you's ;-)Donna said:What's even worse than overlooked RSVPs is a lack of response on a gift. It drives me nuts, because I sometimes don't even know whether they received it or not. I once waited over a year to find out whether a cousin had received a wedding gift of an entire setting of her sterling silver flatware! (And then I suspect that her mother ended up writing the note.) I have stopped sending gifts to family members who never can be bothered to send the simplest "thank you" or phone, under the assumption that the gift couldn't have meant much to them. I don't hold it against them, but save my energy.
When we were little, my mother would make us write "thank you" notes (or pictures) by the time we could write our names. In fact, the house rule was that you could not play with it, wear it, eat it, or spend it until after the note was written. We did have a few obstinant temper tantrums that resulted in items returned, which elicited tantrum #2. I thought it was a cruel rule then, but feel very differently now. When the children are not properly socialized, people in helpful places believe them to suffer from a lack of breeding. Not good for baby's future!
Whitesands: I think you've struck a chord here :clap_1:
Jdarg
SoWal Expert
Unplugged said:
Ditto. I have stress attacks until all thank yous are written. For a long time, Will's handwriting was terrible, so I made him type his thank yous, print on cute paper, and sign them. Now he has to write them. Bdarg has a niece and nephew that have never acknowledged Christmas or graduation gifts (now they are in high school and college). I am making good on my threat of "no gifts" this year- I have had enough of their bad manners!