Some people need to enroll in a history class. While the South fired the first shots at Ft. Sumter, it is important to remember that South Carolina has seceded and in their view the Union troops were invaders of their home. They had repeatedly asked the Union to vacate the fort.
The South did not view themselves as traitors. In those times people viewed their primary allegiance as being to their home state, not the Federal government. This was true in both the North and South. You must remember that the US was only about 84 years old and those states had rebelled against what they considered to be the tyranny of Great Britain to form a confederation. The Federal Government was only 73 years old and people in both the North and South considered it their right to leave the Union if they chose to. The New England states, lead by Massachusetts and Connecticut threatened to secede over the War of 1812 and the growing power of the Democrats over the Federalist party. Many abolitionists, such as William Lloyd Garrison, pushed for the North to secede over slavery. South Carolina threatened to secede in 1828 over tariffs and in 1850 over California's entry in to the Union. So, the concept was not foreign to those of that era and they considered it their right.
As far as who whipped who, considering the overwhelming advantages the North had over the South in industry, in population, in Railways and shipping, in soldiers and in armaments, it is a wonder the South was able to fight as long as it did. Until 1863 the South was winning and in the end Grant had a 4 or 5 to 1 advantage over Lee. Lee consistently defeated much larger Union armies and Southern soldiers fought valiantly, often barefoot and half starved due to supply issues. The Southern soldier had nothing to be ashamed of for losing to a better equipped, numerically superior foe.
