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Water Parks

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jdarg said:
I had the pleasure of going to one last week. It was as clean as it could be considering thousands of bodies were in the water. If you have kids, it is your penance to occasionally have to go to one. They did use TONS of chlorine, as evidenced by Kate's lime green hair that night. I just tried not to look around too much, wore sandals when I wasn't in the water, and kept Kate duct taped to my leg so the gigantic people wouldn't slip and fall on her- certain death.

Things you will find at the water parks- Water. Kids. Lots of kids in ill-fitting swim diapers. Crowds. People greasing each other up with sunscreen, like rubbing oil on elephants. Lots of crack. More tattoos. Many piercings in bad places. Mullets. Screaming and yelling. Fried food.

Things you WON'T find- Manners. Full sets of teeth/kids in braces. Supermodels. Sushi. Wine. Dry anything- everything is in some stage of damp. Shade. Quiet. Correct word pronunciation.
I'm just joshing here- no offense meant- I do love fried food.

I have finally found a place where I fit in. I'm going to one right after work today. Here I come Nashville Shores! :floor:
 
whiteyfunn said:
I have finally found a place where I fit in. I'm going to one right after work today. Here I come Nashville Shores! :floor:

It's called Nashville Shores??? Now THAT is funny!

Make sure you wear a bathing suit that is 5 sizes too small. Correct fit is if the suit completely disappears from view in the back AND the front.
 
jdarg said:
It's called Nashville Shores??? Now THAT is funny!

Make sure you wear a bathing suit that is 5 sizes too small. Correct fit is if the suit completely disappears from view in the back AND the front.

Thanks for the tip Jdarg. I'll keep that in mind. I'll just go pick one up from the kids department at Target. :funn:
 
jdarg said:
I had the pleasure of going to one last week. It was as clean as it could be considering thousands of bodies were in the water. If you have kids, it is your penance to occasionally have to go to one. They did use TONS of chlorine, as evidenced by Kate's lime green hair that night. I just tried not to look around too much, wore sandals when I wasn't in the water, and kept Kate duct taped to my leg so the gigantic people wouldn't slip and fall on her- certain death.

Things you will find at the water parks- Water. Kids. Lots of kids in ill-fitting swim diapers. Crowds. People greasing each other up with sunscreen, like rubbing oil on elephants. Lots of crack. More tattoos. Many piercings in bad places. Mullets. Screaming and yelling. Fried food.

Things you WON'T find- Manners. Full sets of teeth/kids in braces. Supermodels. Sushi. Wine. Dry anything- everything is in some stage of damp. Shade. Quiet. Correct word pronunciation.
I'm just joshing here- no offense meant- I do love fried food.

Hurricane Bay, eh?
 
amylouky said:
Hurricane Bay, eh?

:lolabove: No. I refuse to go there. Holiday World. I have convinced myself that it is cleaner and the attendees, while they don't really look it, are nice, corn fed, God-fearing farm families who bathe every day. Please don't tell me otherwise!!
 
jdarg said:
:lolabove: No. I refuse to go there. Holiday World. I have convinced myself that it is cleaner and the attendees, while they don't really look it, are nice, corn fed, God-fearing farm families who bathe every day. Please don't tell me otherwise!!

Holiday World! Isn't that in Santa Claus, Indiana? I see commercials for that place all the time.
 
whiteyfunn said:
Holiday World! Isn't that in Santa Claus, Indiana? I see commercials for that place all the time.

You're joking. That would be a 4 hour ride from Nashville.

Must explain why the adjoining campground was overflowing. Do you want me to reserve you a space there for the Stones concert??:floor:
 
jdarg said:
:lolabove: No. I refuse to go there. Holiday World. I have convinced myself that it is cleaner and the attendees, while they don't really look it, are nice, corn fed, God-fearing farm families who bathe every day. Please don't tell me otherwise!!
:lolabove: :funn:

.
 
jdarg said:
I had the pleasure of going to one last week. It was as clean as it could be considering thousands of bodies were in the water. If you have kids, it is your penance to occasionally have to go to one. They did use TONS of chlorine, as evidenced by Kate's lime green hair that night. I just tried not to look around too much, wore sandals when I wasn't in the water, and kept Kate duct taped to my leg so the gigantic people wouldn't slip and fall on her- certain death.

Things you will find at the water parks- Water. Kids. Lots of kids in ill-fitting swim diapers. Crowds. People greasing each other up with sunscreen, like rubbing oil on elephants. Lots of crack. More tattoos. Many piercings in bad places. Mullets. Screaming and yelling. Fried food.

Things you WON'T find- Manners. Full sets of teeth/kids in braces. Supermodels. Sushi. Wine. Dry anything- everything is in some stage of damp. Shade. Quiet. Correct word pronunciation.
I'm just joshing here- no offense meant- I do love fried food.

LMAO!! :floor:
 
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